ALERT: NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE TO STOP YELLING AT YOU

YOUR WEATHER FORECAST ... WON'T LOOK LIKE THIS ... FOR MUCH LONGER ...

The National Weather Service announced Monday — using its inside voice — that it will no longer issue forecasts and warnings in all capital letters, a format usually interpreted as a warning or angry shouting.

Expressing anger or merely yelling has never been the weather service's intention since its formation in 1870. The weather service, after all, strives for accuracy. And while the all-caps communiques may seem perfectly appropriate for urgent warnings about fully formed tornadoes, that format has also lent forecasts of gentle breezes and sunshine the same tone as catastrophic events.

Blame the internet. As means of written communications spread from paper to computers and phones, societal norms rendered all-caps messages appropriate only for urgent updates or angry shouting. (Example 1: Virtually any comment section on any topic on any web site anywhere.)

The weather service tried several times to introduce lowercase letters, but its technology lagged.

Its communication system has relied on teleprinters, which it described as "basically typewriters hooked up to telephone lines." These particular typewriters handled only upper-case letters, and SO REPORTS ALWAYS LOOKED LIKE THIS, EVEN FOR INFORMATION AS NON-THREATENING AS WHAT TIME THE SUN WOULD RISE.

Somewhere along the line, the National Weather Service cracked the lowercase code, and will have it ready to go May 11, following a 30-day period for people to "prepare."

“People are accustomed to reading forecasts in upper case letters and seeing mixed-case use might seem strange at first,” NWS meteorologist Art Thomas said in the announcement. “It seemed strange to me until I got used to it over the course of testing the new system, but now it seems so normal."

So, brace yourself. Lowercase letters will soon be the norm.

Old-school weather junkies will get the occasional all-caps fix in the form of international transmissions, which are required by global standards agreements to be sent using the old format.

Otherwise, PAY ATTENTION WHEN YOU SEE ALL CAPS BECAUSE THEY WILL STILL BE USED "TO EMPHASIZE THREATS DURING EXTREMELY DANGEROUS SITUATIONS."

In other words, we'll be yelled at only when we actually need to be yelled at.