OBIT: Ted Cruz's Campaign Of Humiliations, 2015-2016

RIP Ted Cruz campaign. We hardly knew ye.

In the end, Cruz went out with the nobility of concession. Give him that.

Along the way, though, he flipped, flopped, obfuscated and insulted his way to what should have been impossible — becoming less favorable in GOP polls than the man who flipped, flopped, obfuscated and insulted his way to the top of the party, Donald Trump.

It is time, friends. Time to gather to remember the Cruz campaign in all its humiliating glory.

To reflect, here are lowlights from the Ted Cruz campaign, in no particular order.

1. "Basketball rings"

We'll start with something fresh on everyone's minds: Cruz on a basketball court in the Hoosier state. If you're going to try to quote the most famous movie in Indiana history — and quote it while in Indiana — you've got to at least get the terminology right. There are about 10 other words Cruz could have used before "rings" to describe the hoops on either end of the floor.

But...there. He said it: "basketball ring."

Even President Obama couldn't help but chime in, joking at the White House Correspondents' Dinner: "But I'm the foreign one?"

2. New York Looks The Other Way

At a ritzy GOP fundraiser in Manhattan days before the New York primary, big-time donors essentially ignored Cruz when he got up to speak.

They chatted up their friends, they walked around, they basically did everything but listen to Ted Cruz.

3. "Too Slow"

On the campus of the University of Indiana, a student reached over and said, "Senator Cruz, can I please shake your hand?" Then he pulled off a move that every seventh-grader dreams about.

4. Ted Cruz's Daughter Won't Let Him Kiss Her

In fairness to Ted, young children can be an unruly bunch. That still doesn't mean that we won't laugh at this over and over again — or draw the conclusion that his daughter finds him kind of creepy, too.

5. Ted Cruz Tells Small Child "Your World Is On Fire"

And she reacts how any young one would. (Skip to the 1:30 mark.)

6. GOP Leaders Don't Exactly Rush To His Side

Here is a list of things Republican leaders and lawmakers have said while trying to decide who is less worse, Cruz or Trump:

• Picking between Cruz and Trump is "like being shot or poisoned." - Sen. Lindsey Graham
• Cruz is "Lucifer in the flesh." - former Speaker of the House John Boehner
• "The quickest way for a meeting to end would be for Ted to come in." - a former George Bush aide
• "If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you." - Graham (again)

7. Cruz Slams "New York Values" ... Before Massive New York Primary

In an attempted dig at Trump's politics, Cruz put him on blast for his "New York values." That was in January. Three months later, he was demolished in the New York primary by 35 percent.

It was perhaps his best display of unity on the campaign trail — he got New York tabloids to rush to Trump's defense.

8. Ted Cruz vs. His Daughter Part II

At a rally in Indiana, Cruz went to hug his daughter, who literally ran off the stage before he could touch her. Skip ahead to about the 1:55 mark.

9. Ted Cruz Chooses Carly Fiorina As His Running Mate

His campaign, on its last leg and limping toward what Cruz hoped would be a contested convention, the Texas senator turned to what he thought was his last hope: A failed CEO, forced to resign after a merger that tanked her company's value by 50 percent.

At least you tried, guy. Sorry to see you get dusTED. Sorry to see it so soon, anyway.

BONUS: Cruz Punches, Elbows Wife In Face After Concession

Because even in defeat, Cruz keeps delivering for us.

Image via Gage Skidmore, Flickr, used under Creative Commons