Screech Does Standup, Canine Cruises and Pigs From a Gun

There’s plenty to pick from today, Thursday, Aug. 8, in Old Town, so let’s cut to the chase:

Standup Screech — Dustin Diamond, AKA Screech from “Saved By The Bell,” will be performing what’s being billed as R-rated standup shows tonight through Saturday at The Old Town Theater (815 ½ King St.). Ticket packages start at $25. For more details, check out the Old Town Theater website. I better see some diehards with Zack Morris cellphones.

Second Thursday — The Torpedo Factory Art Center, Alexandria Office of the Arts, and the Alexandria Convention and Visitors Association have partnered to expand Second Thursday in Old Town this summer. The theme of tonight’s event is “Animal Instincts” featuring tributes to all varieties of the animal kingdom—wild or domestic—furry, scaled or feathered. TFAC (105 N. Union St.) is the Second Thursday HQ, with live performances, activities, contests, art receptions and more, all free and open to the public. Live music will also be featured at The Athenaeum ($10 / 201 Prince St.) and in the garden of the Alexandria Visitors Center (221 King St.).

Canine cruises — If your getting your dog gussied up for an evening on the river sounds like a good time to you, the Potomac Riverboat Company is presenting a pair of Pet Fashion Canine Cruises. See how your pooch fares on the Potomac with cruises at 7 and 8 p.m. Tickets cost $15 for adults and $9 for children. More information on the Potomac Riverboat Company website.

Carlyle tunes — Jason Paul Curtis and Swing Lab bring their American songbook, jazz, swing and bossa nova stylings to John Carlyle Park (300 John Carlyle St.) for a free concert beginning at 7:30 p.m.

Pigs From a Gun — This three-piece band specializing in psychedelic rock, reggae and funk takes the stage at 10 p.m. at The Light Horse (715 King St.). Props to them on a great band name.