Avoiding Romance Scams: It's Happened In Greendale

GREENDALE, WI — Romance scams have cost Wisconsin residents thousands, even right here in Greendale, and in the days and weeks leading up to Valentine's Day today, the FBI has warned the schemes that offer love and affection are on the uptick.

It doesn't matter your age, many have become victims of the scam, but the FBI says older women are most often the target of the confidence scams that use a romantic relationship to swindle people out of their money and personal information.

Just in 2020, Americans lost over $281 million to the confidence scams, according to the FBI, and in Wisconsin, $5.6 million was scammed.

In Greendale, a woman was recently scammed out of $24,000, according to police department logs. The resident had met a man online in February of 2021, but in October, the resident contacted the Greendale Police Department letting them know the relationship may have been a romance scam.

The romance scam may play on the loneliness of older Americans, according to AARP, whose research shows a common theme among people targeted in romance scams — they had recently experienced a negative event, whether the loss of a spouse or job, or a financial setback. Swindlers get that information by scanning obituaries, online and offline documents, or even by going through people’s trash.

Skepticism is healthy before entering into an online relationship, the FBI said. Some red flags:

• After initial contact on a legitimate dating site, the person attempts to communicate by email or messaging services.
• The person claims to be from the United States but lives or is traveling abroad.
• The person claims the relationship is “destiny” or “fate.”
• The person reports a personal crisis and exerts pressure for financial help.
• The person disappears suddenly, then reappears under a different name.
• The person asks for goods or money before an in-person meeting.

Some tips to protect yourself:

• Never send money or wire transfers to someone you meet online.
• Never share banking or credit card information with anyone whose identity you haven’t verified.
• Never share your Social Security number or other personally identifiable information with anyone who doesn’t need that information for legitimate reasons.
• Be mindful of what you post on social media posts and your general online presence. Scammers can use details shared on social media and dating sites to better understand and target you.
• Research the person’s photo and profile using online searches to see if the image, name or details have been used elsewhere.
• Go slowly and ask the other person lots of questions.

Americans’ growing comfort with online platforms has opened new avenues for chiselers, experts say.

“More and more Americans are generally more comfortable meeting online for platonic and romantic relationships, and these scams are following them, whether it's apps or social media sending them friend requests or instant messages on Facebook saying, ‘I’m in love with you’ and then asking for money,” Kathy Stokes, the director of AARP’s Fraud Prevention Program, told Patch in 2019 for a story about scams targeting older Americans.

Related: Scammers Are Scaring And Extorting Millions From Your Aging Parents

Making it worse, many people — especially those who are older — are reluctant to admit they’ve been scammed for fear they’ll be seen as naive or incompetent.

“For people who are relatively well-educated and think they’re savvy, it’s very demoralizing and shameful to admit they fell for something,” Stokes said. “We as a society blame victims of scams in a way we don’t blame other crime victims. We need to flip the narrative — ‘this happened to me and I’m empowered to tell my story so others won’t feel the same embarrassment.’ ”

Anyone who believes they’re the victim of the romance scam should report the activity to the Internet Crime Complaint Center. Also, the FBI said, one of the first calls people who have been swindled should make is to their banks, credit unions and credit card companies. They should also report it to the website or application where contact began.