The Lessons We Can Learn from Seniors

Among the gifts of the older generation is their decades of experience and the wisdom and lessons they are able share with younger generations. Having lived through life’s joys and pains, these seniors have great perspective on what matters most in life. One thing they have in common is that the way they live through emotionally difficult times and overcame them holds life’s greatest lessons.

Five seniors in their mid 80's to mid-90's--a Korean War vet, a woman who raised someone else’s daughter, and a woman who defied her father’s expectations and put herself through college, among others--gathered at the Waters Edge Lodge Assisted Living residence in Alameda and shared their views. Their lessons may inspire others to live a life filled with what matters most.

Joe- Enjoy Life, Stay Healthy and Follow Your Passions

Joe grew up in San Leandro and served four years in the Air Force during the Korean War. Along with every other male in his class, he was drafted out of high school, but after the war came home, determined to finish his degree at UC Berkeley, and then worked as an executive for Chevron.

Joe’s biggest life challenge came when he was diagnosed with Guillain-Barre syndrome, a nerve-killing virus. Treatments involved blood transfusions every two weeks. Joe and the doctors questioned whether he would live through his treatments. He told his wife he would go out and buy her a new car if he did make it out.

Joe’s treatment was successful and he came out of it healthy, with a renewed spirit and positive view of life. He bought a new Lincoln Town Car for his wife, abstained from unhealthy substances like alcohol and caffeine, and happily resides in Alameda today. After that, he took every chance possible to go out with his wife and two kids for adventures. The one piece of advice he gives to young people is, “enjoy life and stay healthy,” and “follow your passions.”

Mary Ann- Keep Learning, Keep Talking and Push for Your Dreams

Mary Ann told a story of overcoming her generation’s stigma towards women, that their place is in the home supporting husbands and raising children. Though her father held to this belief and didn’t see a need for a woman to pursue higher education, Mary Ann felt differently.

She started her life according to her parent’s expectations getting married and having children. However, despite caring for her son, she pursued a higher education and paid for herself to attend California State University, Hayward.

It paid off. She raised a successful son--who is now an accomplished engineer--and had her own accounting business for 30 years. She closed it when she was 85, long past the time popular culture says people should retire. She said it was because she enjoyed her work and business so much. At 86, she is writing a book.

Mary Ann’s advice is to keep learning, persevere, push for your dreams and find something to be happy about every day. Her motto: Keep learning, keep talking, keep living.

Tom- Do What You Want--and Enjoy What You’re Doing

Raised in Hollywood and now 88 years old, Tom credits his happiness to his lifelong passion for arts and entertainment. He studied at UC Berkeley and worked most of his professional career in graphic design and spent his adult life living in San Francisco.

Tom says that his greatest joy in life was “doing what I loved and wanted to do whenever I had the chance--including going often to the theater, going to the opera especially, drawing, painting, and reading.” He advises young people “enjoy what your doing while your doing it,” because he still can’t believe how quickly he became 88 years old! He said, “Do what you love, because the years will fly by faster than you can ever imagine.”

Arenda- Choose Happiness

Arenda’s life did not turn out according to how she had it planned, with a family and kids of her own. However, ultimately she found great fulfillment in her life by investing her time in the Big Sisters organization.

While volunteering as a big sister, she mentored a young girl who had little social support throughout her childhood and worked with her from her elementary years through high school graduation, which, at one point, had been unlikely for her little sister to accomplish. Guiding her “little sister” to a better life was among Arenda’s happiest life achievements and gave her a serious sense or purpose, and she is still connected to her.

In addition, Arenda strongly believes in faith and prayer. She spent many years working for her church, which gave Arenda work she loved and that made her happy. Arenda stressed the importance of actively finding joy in life--or not doing it at all. “You get to choose whether you are happy or sad--and being sad is boring and gives you wrinkles,” she says.

Lee- Forgive and Forget, Stay Busy and Keep Your Mind Focused

If wisdom comes with age, then Lee could be one of the wisest people in Alameda at 102 years old. Lee worked as a department store manager and lived in many different locations throughout her life. She describes her life’s pace as “rush, rush, rush.”

Her best advice for young people is to “be happy and try not to hold onto anger. Holding onto anger just hurts everyone.” She explained it’s pointless and self-destructive to internalize anger. She says her ability to forgive and forget, stay busy and keep her mind focused on something interesting helped her make it to 102 years old. She says moving many different places and keeping busy with new ways of life filled her time with excitement and change.