Moms Talk: Co-Sleeping

Patch: Did/do you co-sleep with your child? For how long did this go on for?

Christie Arias: Yes, I did co-sleeping. I had babies next to my bed in a bassinet. I did it with both of my children when they were infants. My first born I did it for about five months and my second child was for about three months. 

Carina Ibarra: Co-sleeping is a very interesting topic for me. I never once considered co-sleeping until my child turned one and I went back to work. I work 10 hour days and get to spend about twp hours a day with my child during the week. I was missing him so much that I was waking up at around four a.m. and bringing him to bed so that I could cuddle with him for a few hours before I went to work.

Each night I kept on bringing him to bed earlier and earlier until we reached the point where he just goes to sleep with us now. My son is 15 months old now and I honestly don’t know when I will give up my cuddle time with my baby boy.

Stacy Blom: Hell no!!

Patch: Why are you against or in support of co-sleeping?

Christie: Co-sleeping with an infant just makes life easier for the mom. It was actually essential for me in the first weeks because I had C-sections and didn't have a lot of mobility. In order for me to get to the baby easily, I had them right next to the bed. My babies woke every two to three hours to eat and get a diaper change. I did not want to get out of bed every couple of hours. My bed turned into the "mobile command center."

Carina: I am against co-sleeping because I want my son to be independent and be able to go to sleep without me there in case he spends the night with family. I also think it is very important that babies learn to self soothe and when my son was a newborn I worried about the safety of co-sleeping.

I support co-sleeping because of the way it has saved my relationship with my son. When I went back to work, my son made his displeasure clear. Instead of coming to me for things, he would go to his dad. When I left for work, he would cry anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. When we started co-sleeping, that behavior changed immediately. He no longer cries when I go to work and he is no longer giving me the silent treatment.

Stacy: I was an at home mom and I spent every waking moment with my children and loved every minute of it but when it came to bed time, that was my time and I needed my space.

Our bed is for my husband and I — no one else! I have difficulty sleeping as it is, so I didn't need any other distractions to keep me awake. Our rooms are so small and you can hear anything anyway! Might as well be in your own room and learn to have your own independence. You don't need to be by me 24/7!

Patch: For those in support of co-sleeping, at what age should a child no longer co-sleep his/her parent?

Christie: For me, once my babies were sleeping five to six hours at a time, they were able to sleep on their own. I usually only had to get up once in the night with them. I also noticed that when they went into their own room, that I actually got a better nights sleep as well. I didn't hear every movement that they made.

Once a good sleep schedule is developed and they are somewhat on a routine, I think it's important for the baby to go into their own space and for mom to get a little bit of personal space again. With that said — I now have toddlers who occasionally (once or twice a week) sneak into my bed in the early hours of the morning. For them at this age, it is a comfort thing. That's OK with me now. But, we first had to go through making sure they knew the routine of where they go to bed every night and which bed is theirs.

Our kids know that mommy's bed is mommy's and that I like to have my own space too. As long as it doesn't become a pattern in our house — two, three, four nights in a row climbing into our bed — we don't mind the occasional visitor when there is a bad dream.

Carina: I haven’t figured this one out yet. Considering my little guy sleeps like a tornado I can’t imagine we will be able to sleep comfortably once he gets much bigger. Also, as he gets older I think he will be better able to understand Mommy’s absence.

Patch: For those against co-sleeping, what makes a child sleeping in his or her own crib or bed better than sharing one with his or her parent?

Stacy: Just my opinion, of course, but it teaches them independence. They learn how to fall asleep alone and be by themselves and not be dependent on someone or something to fall asleep.

The habit of sleeping with someone is harder to break, the longer they sleep with you. I know some of my friends just found it easier to have their kids sleep with them than to get up in the middle of night but I was adamant about them sleeping on their own! I had no problem getting up or not, depending on what their needs were and teaching them to fall asleep alone! It made for me being a better parent in the morning and not resenting the fact that they had to be with me all the time!