Moms Talk: Raising Kids With or Without Our Religious Views

Patch: How religious would you consider you and/or your family? What do you practice?

Stacy Blom: It depends what you would consider religious. Do you mean you practice on a daily basis and live your lives according to your religious beliefs or are you referring to whether or not you attend mass? I am catholic and have raised my girls to be catholic. I'm not even sure what religion my husband is and it was never important to him so I took over in this department.

We attend mass on a regular basis but it gets harder as they get older and have jobs, softball tournaments, etc. If we are available, we attend mass. Do we practice our beliefs on a regular basis? I would have to say no. Sometimes I amaze myself when I leave church and get angry at someone in the parking lot...not very Christian of me and a poor example to my children!

Christie Arias: I grew up attending a Catholic school and went to church every Sunday. Religion has always been a part of my life.

Carina Ibarra: While both my husband and I were very active in the Catholic Church well into our teens, our connection to the church has declined over the years. We both find ourselves disappointed with the political decisions and the bureaucracy of the church. With that said we had our first born baptized within 40 days.

Sara Raymond: Our family is not religious, however we are members of the local Unitarian Universalist church (Starr King UU in Hayward). We specifically chose to join a Unitarian church because of the openness to all faiths, and the freedom it gives to question faith and spirituality while still teaching the value of ritual and traditions in life and providing a supportive community to our family.

Patch: How persistent were/are you in teaching your kids about your religion? What about when it comes to other religions?

Stacy: My daughters were baptized, attended Confraternity of Christian Doctrine (CCD) and received Holy Communion. My oldest even attempted Confirmation until the Church decided to change things around in her third year of attending the program.

Plus, we attend mass whenever we are around to do so. I think it is very important for them to have something to believe in but most importantly, I want them to be thankful for everything they have and if that means going to church for an hour and praying to a higher power and saying thank you, then I'm happy. I did the basics and will continue to do so. As with anything, it takes time, commitment and dedication. I'm not very educated about other religions.

Christie: My kids are toddlers. So, I don't want to confuse them and teach them too much about other religions just yet. My kids know who God is. They understand the reason we celebrate Christmas. I wanted to make sure that my kids know that there is a God and some other form of accountability in life besides mom and dad.

Carina: While our child is too young to ask us about religion, we have already prepared our plan for his religious education. We do plan on having our son attend catechism and receive his first communion. I think having faith is very important to the emotional and moral development of a child. However, once our child reaches an appropriate age (depending on maturity anywhere from 10 to 15) we plan on introducing him to other religions.

Sara: The only thing I hope for my children with respect to religion is that as they mature and begin to form their own thoughts and belief systems, they will always have respect for the beliefs and values of others.

Patch: How do you teach them?

Stacy: By sending them to CCD and attending mass together and then discussing things. Some things are very hard to believe and I tell them that it is up to them to make the final decision. I know that our religion believes that life began with Adam and Eve and then they take Biology and are taught that human life began with a cell. How do you explain that? They need to decide what is best for them!

Christie: We pray at home together, usually during meal times and bedtime. When they are having trouble with something, I tell them to ask God for help. They also attend things like Sunday school and vacation Bible school where they learn lessons and stories from the Bible.

Patch: If your child wanted to change his or her religion, how supportive would you be about their decision?

Stacy: I would be totally supportive. I have given them a basis to go by but it is not up to me to decide their future or their beliefs. Sometimes I'm not so sure I believe in everything that our religion practices but it's all I know. My children are welcome to decide for themselves. At least I have given them something to compare with others.

Christie: I think that as long as they believe in God and have a faith, I will be happy. I am no longer a practicing Catholic (and I went to Catholic school). Much of religion isn't about specifics on who thinks this or that — I think it's more of the big picture that matters.

Carina: We hope to have friends assist us by taking them to their place of worship. We also plan on having him read the texts of other religions. At that point, it will be his decision whether he wants to proceed with Confirmation (and remain Catholic) or choose another route. At the end of the day what is most important to me is that my little boy grows up to be a man who is secure in his faith.