To Cell or Not to Cell?

By Rabbi Levi Cunin

A traveler pulls over and walks into a public bathroom stall, and he sits down to do his business. A voice comes from the next stall, "Hey, how's it going?." The guy, puzzled, answers, "OK." Then the voice from the next stall says, "What are you doing tonight?" The guy again answers, hesitantly, now with a question, "Not sure, what do you have in mind?" Then the voice in the next stall says, " Honey, I have to hang up, some freak in the next stall thinks I’m talking to him!."

In the past, I have shared with you a principle that I strive to live by, the idea that there is a reason behind everything. Whether it is what we see, hear or experience, there is always an important lesson to be learned.

This principle gets a bit more complex. That is, if you hear a similar message, from multiple sources, in a short period of time, then it means that the particular experience is important. For example, suppose you go to the gym one morning and you bump into a friend who asks, "How is your mom?" And, an hour later, you are in the gas station where you meet another friend who asks you the same question.

And, then ,your wife texts you, "How is mom?" According to this principle, you should probably stop what you are doing and check in with mom.

This principle brings me to the heated discussions on the topic of the rules we set for cell phones. The sensitivity about cell phone etiquette continues as we seek to balance good access with good manners. Like all good things in life, our relationship with our cell phone requires important boundaries. Should a cell phone be present when you are taking a loved one to dinner? Is there anything wrong with texting silently during your child’s graduation? As a husband and a father of young children, must I always be available on my cell phone even as I am giving a class to committed and attentive students?

As a rabbi, I have excused myself with a handful of reasons to explain and justify why I have a cell phone present. After all, people are depending on me!

Yet, my recent encounters -- without the cell phone in control -- have helped me realize that I can be much more in the present -- and truly committed to the moment and what I am doing -- when I avoid the random disturbances -- emails, texts, calls.

There was a time when we did not have cell telephones. Somehow, we managed. And, in remembering that principle that there is a reason behind everything, you might perhaps ask: “Why was it important for me to read these words?”

Shabbat Shalom!