Women of Integrity: An Archetype

This newsletter is subjective and may be a little bit objective. I am interested in your perceptions and views of what you think makes for a person of integrity. Don’t think that I am eliminating men from this article. Ladies, it is important that you understand and let me know what you believe to be a man of integrity.

First, understand that Nobody, and I mean nobody, is perfect. Everybody, including myself, has flaws and a dark side. That’s what makes us human.

Number One: Any examination of the world of integrity cannot overlook the concept of persona. What I mean by that is “what image does a person portray to the world, male and/or female?“ Let us remember that you and I, each one of us, might portray a different part of ourselves at different times of our lives. Your persona/image can be vastly different in your 30s than it was in your teenage years. The same holds true in your 50s, 70s and 90s.

Addendum: you and I portray an image and people react to it. Your image may or may not display or radiate who you and I really are/am. We also hold many different archetypes within ourselves. These are also accessible. In the image area, it is possible for you to change your image to one or more of the archetypes that live within you.

The Dark Side …

A 15-year-old boy lies crushed inside a Maserati that he and his compatriots stole. He’s dead and the police officer refers to him and his compatriots as criminals. Is this the making of a person of integrity? Probably not. He’s dead and his compatriots are "Darksided" as people to be feared and distrusted.

Frank Sinatra sang about a lady who was a tramp. It seems as if Frank was aware of a certain type of woman who can’t be trusted. Certainly, not a woman of integrity. Here again the archetype of opposites presents itself as existing inside every human being, male or female. A woman, just as a man, can appear extremely full of integrity on the outside and possess a secret underlying history of destruction, deceit, deviation, cruelty, and a lack of integrity … the hidden “dark side” of her persona. You’ve heard it portrayed in other songs as well, such as Carlos Santana’s “Evil Ways”: “You’ve got to change your evil ways, baby”.

Women of Integrity: the Archetype

The woman of integrity is an archetype. A noted example of this archetype is expressed in Proverbs 31:10-31. It describes the “woman of valor”. What is her history? Where and from whom does she come from? What does she emanate and radiate? Who, what and how do you and others respond to her image, her persona, and is it real? What draws you to her? Do you pick up something else underneath her persona/image?

Again, the same can be said about a man. What about him? Is he a person of integrity? You still pick up that there’s much more to him than meets the eye. He may portray an image of integrity. But, you can be sure there’s a lot more to him, underneath all of that. So, your journey begins. You have to break out your inner detective, mind reader, explorer, analyzer. Remember the song, “Getting to Know You … Getting to know all about you”? Now it’s time for your inner discoverer to explore.

Imagine for a moment that you are Christopher Columbus setting sail in order to discover a new world. You know it’s there, but you’ll never really know it’s there unless you take the risk and decide to make the journey. It’s a new world. Surprise! It’s not quite what you expected. Then again, they weren’t quite expecting you, Christopher. Now the fun begins. Getting to know you. You are and will probably be discovering victims, victimizers, conquerors and the conquered. Can’t we all just get along!? Not quite. You have to work at it. Are we all created equal? Maybe and maybe not. Differences do exist! So does complementarily, good fits and irreconcilable differences.

In Conclusion: Women/Men of Integrity … They Do Exist!

In conclusion: the woman, the man of integrity … they do exist. They have certain characteristics that might be or seem to be quite rare, but admirable. Is it something to aim for, something to achieve? Absolutely! Every human being including me and you, can be in a process of evolution and change for the better or, unfortunately, the worst.

Set the goal. Set the intention. Start the journey. Explore. Nothing is impossible and everything is possible. It may not turn out exactly as you expect, but it probably will be much greater and better than you could ever dream of. Once you are there, you’ll want to go higher and explore new galaxies, universes and worlds. Remember Tevye from "Fiddler on the Roof"? If I were a Rich Man" was a key song. Mark your journey with song. Dance along the way. It couldn’t hurt and it might even help.

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Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. LMFT is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist in private practice in Southern California. For over forty years, his goal has been to help his clients define who they are, overcome obstacles, deepen relationships, conquer anxiety and depression, and evolve to the next stage of their lives in the most successful and productive way possible. For more information, visit www.psychotherapyhelp.com.