Emotions Teens Need to Cope With in 2025

Over the past years children and teenagers have had to cope with a lot of emotions. The main emotions they have been facing are anxiety, depression, fear and grief. These emotions have reached epidemic levels (CDC) and many children and teenagers are requiring psychotherapy. However, the number of children and teens needing therapy is so large that many children have to wait because psychotherapist are being overwhelmed by the need (CDC). If we look at their lives over the past few years, it is not surprising they have been dealing with these emotions.

To begin with, children have had to grow up with mass school shootings. Since the year 2000 there have been 1,374 school shooting and in 2025 as of August there have been 44 school shooting (Gun Violence Archievs, CDC) In 2019, there was a mass shooting every day and a majority of these shootings occurred at schools (CDC). Students have been dealing with these shootings for 25 years and there does not seem to be an end. There was just another shooting at a Catholic school in Minnesota. Additionally, since 2010, the number of shootings have increased every year (CDC). As a result, students have grown up grieving for friends and teachers and have been afraid to go to school because they were afraid of being killed. In addition, they have been having mass shooter drills on a regular basis. These drills have increased children’s anxiety about going to school. They have more shooter drills than fire drills. Therefore, school does not seem like a safe place for kids.

Besides dealing with mass shootings, they have had to cope with the Coronavirus Pandemic and having to go to school remotely. Furthermore, they were not able to see their friends as usual so they felt isolated, lonely and have been lacking the emotional support of their friends. Because of the pandemic and due to the addiction to smartphones starting in 2010, kids also are dealing with feelings of loneliness and isolation. The isolation feeling is at epidemic levels too (FDA).

Finally with over 1,000,000 Americans dying from the Coronavirus, many children and teenagers have been grieving for the death of grandparents, parents and friends. This has also created a lot of anxiety for kids. Many do not want their parents to leave the house because they are afraid that their parents might catch the virus and die.

Now we are changing children’s world again. The United States government is now doing mass deportations for anyone in the USA with a criminal past. This would be fine, if they stopped there. However, the government is detaining anyone who looks like they might be in the country illegally. Therefore, many families are afraid to leave their homes and are staying in their homes. Therefore, children are afraid to go to school because they are afraid they might come home and find their parents have disappeared. Children and teenagers are also afraid for their own safety too. They are afraid of a government patrol going to their schools or walking through their cities and the government officers might detain them too.

These issues are overwhelming for children and in addition to these issues, they have to deal with the war in the Ukraine. Also they are getting news flashes about the situation with Israel and the hostages. Because children and teenagers have access to their smartphones and Ipads, many kids have seen the pictures of dead adults and children. They are also hearing about how this may develop into World War III. The idea of a World War is making more children and teenagers worry about death and the possibility of a nuclear war. They are afraid the end of the world maybe around the corner. People may think this is an exaggeration, but it is not. I hear these concerns over and over from children I treat. I’m not just hearing these concerns from 16 year old teens, I am also hearing it from 8 year old children.

Besides these emotions, teenagers are afraid of nothing being done to solve the school shootings. Every time one occurs, people offer prayers but take no action. In New Zealand, they had one mass shooting with an automatic weapon and within 2 weeks the Prime Minister had banned these weapons from their country.

In the United States we talk about taking actions and we have taken a couple minor steps. However, the government refuses to implement Universal Background Checks for anyone buying a gun and they refuse to ban automatic weapons used for war. A Universal Background Check would not stop people from owning guns. Instead, the President wants to ban transgender people from purchasing guns. This is because the shooter at the Catholic School was transgender. However, when you review his writings, being transgender had nothing to do with the shooting. Additionally, transgender people do not show any evidence of being more violent than any other person (APA). This proposed ban is ridiculous, discriminates against a class of people already extremely discriminating against and it does nothing to solve the problem.

We are doing the same thing with the drug problem. We just killed a boat of people believed to be smuggling Fentanyl into the United States (CNN, NBC). However, we don’t know for sure that they were smuggling drugs. Additionally, if we decreased the demand for Fentanyl and other drugs by United States citizens, the smuggling would decrease because the demand decreased. Therefore, we need to address the problem of people wanting to use drugs in the United States.

I have had many parents ask me how they can help their children and teenagers through these difficult times. However, many parents are finding it difficult because they are experiencing some of the same feelings and they know they cannot completely protect their children from mass shootings, the Coronavirus, drugs and they are worried about another World War too. Parents are having to accept that they cannot eliminate the fear their children are living with currently. All they can do is be there for their families and be emotionally supportive.

Dealing with children and teenagers as a psychotherapist for the past 25 years, I have seen many children with these issues. Additionally, I have researched these issues in addition to becoming certified to treat children and first responders for the traumatic events we are facing as a society. Below is the best advice I have found for parents who are dealing with children who are anxious, afraid, grieving or feeling lonely or isolated.

As a parent, you can’t protect you children from grief, but you can help them express their feelings, comfort them, help them feel safer, and teach them how to deal with fear. By allowing and encouraging them to express their feelings, you can help them build healthy coping skills that will serve them well in the future, and confidence that they can overcome adversity.

• Break the news. When something happens that will get wide coverage, my first and most important suggestion is that you don’t delay telling your children about what’s happened: It’s much better for the child if you’re the one who tells her. You don’t want her to hear from some other child, a television news report, or the headlines on the front page of the New York Post. You want to be able to convey the facts, however painful, and set the emotional tone.
• Take your cues from your child. Invite her to tell you anything she may have heard about the tragedy, and how she feels. Give her ample opportunity to ask questions. You want to be prepared to answer (but not prompt) questions about upsetting details. Your goal is to avoid encouraging frightening fantasies.
• Model calm. It’s okay to let your child know if you’re sad, but if you talk to your child about a traumatic experience in a highly emotional way, then he will likely absorb your emotion and very little else. If, on the other hand, you remain calm, he is likely to grasp what’s important: that tragic events can upset our lives, even deeply, but we can learn from bad experiences and work together to grow stronger.
• Be reassuring. Talking about death is always difficult, but a tragic accident or act of violence is especially tough because of how egocentric children are: they’re likely to focus on whether something like this could happen to them. So it’s important to reassure your child about how unusual this kind of event is, and the safety measures that have been taken to prevent this kind of thing from happening to them. You can also assure him that this kind of tragedy is investigated carefully, to identify causes and help prevent it from happening again. It’s confidence-building for kids to know that we learn from negative experiences.
• Help children express their feelings. In your conversation (and subsequent ones) you can suggest ways your child might remember those she’s lost: draw pictures or tell stories about things you did together. If you’re religious, going to church or synagogue could be valuable.
• Be developmentally appropriate. Don’t volunteer too much information, as this may be overwhelming. Instead, try to answer your child’s questions. Do your best to answer honestly and clearly. It’s okay if you can’t answer everything; being available to your child is what matters. Difficult conversations like this aren’t over in one session; expect to return to the topic as many times as your child needs to come to terms with this experience.
• Hopefully these suggestions will help parents who have children or teenagers who are dealing with fear, anxiety or grieving for a loved one. Remember there are no perfect parents, so just do your best. If your child knows you are coming from a place of love, they will know you are trying to help and you will help them. If however, you feel your child needs more help than you can provide, arrange for them to see a psychotherapist who specializes in children and teenagers and specializes in treating trauma.

Hopefully these suggestions will help parents and their children through this very scary time our world is currently experiencing.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 25 years experience treating children and teenagers. Additionally, he is certified to treat children, teenagers and first responders for traumatic events. For more information about Dr. Rubino’s work visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.