The Emperors of Ice-Cream

By Rob Scribner and Michael Ashcraft –

Wallace Stevens would be proud of the concupiscent curds of the Westside. The poet of the “Emperor of Ice-Cream” might even have relocated from Pennsylvania to be close to our pleasure paradise. Fortunately for us, we don’t need his posthumous approval to delight in the Land Flowing with Milk and Honey. Here’s 12 of our flavorites:

• Ginger’s Divine Ice Cream Culver City (12550 Washington Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90066)- Sweet Scale 2+. Sensational original flavors, perfect balance of sweet and creaminess. The huge variety will keep you coming back for more. The owner is a ginger. They have a large selection of vegan. Here’s the scoop: Don’t be put off by the name of the universally heralded “Pickled Strawberry Blueberry Pie.” Be adventurous: try Oaxaca Habanero Chocolate. V, ND $15.95 per pint

• McConnel’s Fine Ice Creams Pacific Palisades and 3rd St. Promenade (Third Street Promenade, 1456 3rd Street Promenade, Santa Monica, CA 90401/15209 Palisades Village Ln, Pacific Palisades, CA 90272) - Sweet Scale: 3. McConnell’s is the king of cream. The Santa Barbara based artisan ice cream boasts all natural ingredients, and they have creative flavors to tantalize. Here’s the scoop: To make it cheaper for a couple, get two scoops in one waffle cone to share; same amount of ice cream as two cones but at a lower price. ND $12.00 per pint

• Mashti Malone’s Westwood (1898 Westwood Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90025) - Sweet Scale: 1. Their Persian sweets are unrecognizable in America. With a refreshingly low sweetness, Mashti’s reminds us that dumping extra sugar will never compensate for quality. The opening of the Westwood branch is decades-awaited of the landmark Hollywood store. Here’s the scoop: Choose the Persian varieties: Rosewater and Saffron Rosewater, for example. V, ND $8.95 per pint (Ready To-Go), $9.85 per pint (Hand Packed)

• Rori’s Artisanal Creamery Santa Monica (910 Montana Ave, Santa Monica, CA 90403) - Sweet Scale: 3. Amazing ice cream with a variety of creative but confident, successful, and high-value flavors, even with vegan options. The ambiance is relaxed and the store is boutique. The service is very good as the servers are exceptionally nice. Here’s the scoop: Peanut Butter Chocolate Candy Swirl on a waffle cone. V $13.75 per pint.

• Salt & Straw Los Angeles (1357 Abbot Kinney Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90291) Sweet Scale: 3. With a lively atmosphere and ambience, Salt & Straw draws a young adult crowd. The ice cream is made in small batches and has a hint of salt in its flavors. There is a good variety of flavors, mostly of which are offshoots of generic flavors. For example, Sea Salt with Caramel Ribbons has a very pleasant taste while Salted, Malted, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough is a must-have. With large servings, the expensive price is worth the delightful ice cream. Here’s the scoop: Sea Salt w/ Caramel Ribbons is a favorite, but don’t hesitate to sample a couple extra flavors. V, ND $12.50 per pint.

• Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream Venice Beach (540 Rose Avenue, Venice, CA)- Sweet Scale: 3. Jeni’s is very closely ranked with Salt & Straw. The name is spot on: Splendid. From the variety of distinctive flavors to the texture and taste of the rich ice cream, it is simply delightful. The flavors are superior to Salt & Straw, but the ambience and atmosphere is not as exceptional. But, with its nice shop and location, it is only a matter of time before the crowds fall in love with Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream. Here’s the scoop: Get either the half scoops or get a double scoop and to share. ND $12.00 per pint

• Frozen Fruit Co. Santa Monica (729 Montana Ave #2, Santa Monica, CA 90403) - Sweet Scale: 2.5. This is the perfect place to go if you're looking for healthy ice cream: dairy free, gluten free, vegan, plant-based. Although it completely abandons traditional ice cream, you will not be able to tell based on the taste and texture. Due to the strict limitations on ingredients, there are only seven flavors available at a time. Here’s the scoop: Tuesday Special with Chocolate Peanut Butter. V, ND $13.95 per pint

• Sweet Rose Creamery Santa Monica (Sweet Rose Creamery, 225 26th St #51, Santa Monica, CA 90402) - Sweet Scale: 4. Sweet Rose is a small shop hosting certain really good flavors. If you are served a good batch, the ice cream is very good. Despite one minor experience of ice crystals in the ice cream, Sweet Rose is still worth the shot. Here’s the scoop: Try multiple of the great flavors. ND $14.00 per pint

• Yogurtland - (304 Santa Monica Blvd Suite B, Santa Monica, CA 90401) Sweet Scale: 3. Our only fat franchise to make this list, Yogurtland consistently churns out smooth delightfulness free of ice crystals. Everywhere I go, I keep arguing that Yogurtland is just as good as —-----’s but cheaper. Here’s the scoop: Try the soft serve ice cream, surprisingly better than a lot of ice cream places that offer. V, ND $4.64 per pint

• Wanderlust Creamery Venice (609 Lincoln Blvd suite b, Venice, CA 90291) - Sweet Scale: 3. The ambiance and atmosphere of Wanderlust is what nearly all ice cream shops aspire to be. It is small sized but fancy and high-end. Wanderlust prides itself with its exotic flavors. But, all exotic flavors do not quite hit the spot. Here’s the scoop: Sample every flavor until you find a flavor or two that suit your taste and expectation. V, ND $12.00 per pint

• Rita’s Italian Ice Cream (-11134 Palms Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA)- Westwood. Sweet Scale: 1. I cried. This place promised “frozen custard” like the delightful dollops I’ve gotten on the East Coast and in the Midwest. (Why is frozen custard – richer because of egg content – virtually unheard of here on the West Coast?) Alas, it wasn’t as smooth or sweet as I remembered. Here’s the scoop: Go to Georgia. ~$8 (n/a per pint)

• Carvel West Los Angeles (11037 Santa Monica Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA) . Sweet Scale: 2. Their soft serve is a blob, not a swirl. The taste reminded me of the “ice milk” desserts they gave us in the public school lunches in the 1970s. Disappointment. Here’s the scoop: My fellow teacher, Zach Scribner, by contrast, raves about their malted flavor. ND $9.99 per pint.

What’s your favorite and why? What did we get wrong in our report?

Disclosures and explanations: V = vegan options, ND = non dairy options. Sweet Scale: We used the scientific method of putting the ice cream in our mouth and scientifically discuss: “This one tastes sweeter than that one. What do you think, Vern?” “Well, I don’t know, Ernest. It seems to me that that other one is sweeter than this one.” Yeah, purely scientific. If you like super sweet ice cream, then look for those 4s and 5s.

Michael Ashcraft and Rob Scribner are teacher/student combo from the Lighthouse Christian Academy of Santa Monica.