Sidestepping holiday havoc (yes, it's possible)

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Another quiet Christmas? Not a chance, according to Kathy Miller and millions of other American families, who say they are determined to break free from starring in what seemingly has become a real-life family sequel of the popular holiday film “Home Alone.”

While many curtailed Labor Day plans due to increases in the Delta coronavirus variant, a greater number say they are committed to gather, gift and celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanza events with family and friends this year.

“We downsized and will put some distance between our plates, but we absolutely will get together with family this year,” says Miller, a Michigan-based mother and wife who juggled her bank manager role, while homeschooling her grade schooler, pre-teen daughter and teenage son last year.

Safety is still a priority, but mental health is also important, according to Miller who worries that her once extroverted kids are becoming more introverted, anxious and even occasionally depressed as the Delta variant continues its spread.

Whether you plan to travel or host an event closer to home like the Miller family, one thing is certain: It’s going to be another stressful holiday season.

ANOTHER SERVING OF STRESS?

Holidays are always stressful, according to mental health professionals who worry that too many families will try to make-up for last year’s “lost holiday” season. They note that may add even more pressure to what the American Psychological Association already recognizes as a uniquely stressful time.

This year, we’re coming in hot, according to the experts who warn mental health is at a tipping point in many U.S. households.

A recent Atena survey revealed that 44% of respondents had concerns around the physical and mental health of family and friends.

Odds are, at least one of them will be at your holiday dinner table or shopping line. Pass the stress, please.

And likely holiday hosts? They are stressed too, according to Motherly, which reports nearly 98% of millennial moms polled said 2020 was their “worst” year ever.

“The remaining 2% were likely lying,” says Lauren Jones, another stressed-out mom.

"I thought that nothing would ever top the kind of stressors we endured this past year. But now that we're seeing increases in the Delta variant, I'm more worried now than ever," says the busy working mother of two whose 6-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son experienced several COVID scares within the last 12 months.

Jones, who counts among America's 46 million parents of children under 12 feeling nervous about the rise in cases associated with COVID's Delta variant, is among the 78% of Americans with plans to expand holiday activities this year.

Will the stress be worth it?

For many, particularly grandparents, the answer is a resounding yes, according to a Motel 6 poll, which found that 59% plan to spend more time with their grandchildren.

Everyone, it seems, is craving connections.

AIR HUGS & KISSES

It’s panic-inducing time. If you are getting together, set boundaries, experts advise.

Everyone needs to be aware and compliant with “meeting mandates” related to comfort and distancing between masked, unmasked, vaccinated and the unvaccinated.

Complications will come up, but the hugs, the kisses, and, yes, even the over-the-top relatives have all been missed, according to Miller, who said that “balance” will be the buzzword this holiday season.

But who gets a seat a table is among the more difficult issues being parsed by families like the Millers.

Now is a good time to set expectations for seasonal shopping and holiday events too, according to experts, who say online shopping can limit exposure risks and the stress of holiday shopping.

GATHER CAUTIOUSLY

With an upswing in cases of the double vaccinated, like Travis Dagenais, a 35-year-old Boston resident infected with the Delta variant, the thinking has changed.

Prior to his illness, Dagenais felt his fully vaccinated status made social distancing and other guidelines unnecessary. Today, he recommends more caution noting Americans need to pull back from an all-out free-for-all to more modest shifts in gathering protocol.

BACK-UP YOUR BACK-UP PLANS

Whether you go big or keep things small, finding a way to balance holiday stress is possible, according to the experts who say it’s important to have a strategy for coping on the ready during the holidays for when things feel overwhelming. Among some tips experts recommend:

1) Keep things clear and consistent. It’s important that expectations regarding vaccinations, masking, distancing and other guidelines be set out far in advance of holiday gatherings.

2) Be even-handed. What’s good for one, must be met by all, recommend experts, who say maintaining strict and equal boundaries help avoid confusion and conflict.

3) Keep humor out of hibernation. Having a sense of humor helps keep holiday headaches and hassles at bay. When all else fails, laugh it out.

4) Back-up your back-up plan. Having extra masks, alternate seating plans and other arrangements prepared in advance help minimize additional stressors.

5) Practice self-compassion. Be gentle on yourself and keep your commitments modest rather than strive to achieve unachievable to-do lists and last year’s holiday “do-over.”

6) Solicit support. Lean in on family, friends and associates. Talking out troubles can help build lasting and more meaningful relationships built on shared experiences. One added bonus, according to experts at the Pew Research Group, is that although two thirds (67%) of us have negative experiences to share, we also have a ‘silver-lining’ story to tell too.

7) Keep things moving. Exercise is one of nature’s great stress relievers. Get plenty of activity in over the holidays. Walking is great way to maintain social distancing and promote family togetherness.

8) Soothing escapes. Steeping in a warm bath, taking in the relaxing scent of an essential oil or sipping on an infused herbal tea or other natural supplement represent great way escapes from the everyday stress that another pandemic holiday is sure to bring.

9) Celebrate the small. If you’ve survived homeschooling the kids, transitioned to work-from-home and/or return-to-work practices or kept someone safe and healthy or all of the above – give yourself a hand. Applaud fellow survivors too.

10) Keep calm. Anxiety is contagious. If you keep your calm on, it’s more likely that those around you will too.

Shop and sup safely.

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