Birth mother: 'Adult adoptees deserve to know their origin and know their medical history'

Editor's note: This is one in an ongoing series of posts spotlighting support for our continued effort to provide adult adoptees born in Connecticut access to their original birth certificates. The testimony featured in this series was submitted to the state Legislature earlier this year in support of proposed legislation that would have restored the right of adult adoptees adopted before Oct. 1, 1983, to access their original birth certificate. (Post-1983 adoptees had this right restored in 2014.) The letters are published with the authors' permission. Sign up for our newsletter at www.accessconnecticut.org if you want to help us end discrimination against adoptees.

Re: Senate Bill 977
Attn: Planning & Development Committee

My name is Barbara Montgomery. I am a registered voter in Norwalk, CT. I am writing for your support of Senate Bill 977.

I am a birthmother of a 52 year-old adult son who is my only child. The name of my son on his actual original birth certificate is Michael Joseph Montgomery. Michael was born on May 7, 1965. It is imperative the committee know during the 1960’s unprecedented numbers of white unwed girls were forced to relinquish their babies to adoption. It was a time when both the unwed mother and her illegitimate child were stigmatized by society. I was totally alone without the support of anyone including my mother. The social worker at Catholic Charities told me I was selfish when I refused to sign the relinquishment document. She told me the prospective adoptive parents could give my son a better life. It was only after the social worker assured me Michael and I would be reunited when he turned 18 that I tearfully signed my relinquishment to parent my son. I was young, naïve; and I trusted her. It is imperative the Committee know that I would never have signed the relinquishment had I known the truth.

An adoptee has two birth certificates – the (real) original birth certificate and the (amended) birth certificate. There is no mention of the word “amended” on the second birth certificate that states original. My son’s name and my name were replaced by his adoptive birth name and the adoptive parents’ names. I am at a loss to understand how this practice was and is still legal. It’s as if the baby’s life began when he was adopted. This is simply not true.

I have met hundreds of adult adoptees since my involvement began with adoption reform during 1991. The stories have always been the same. Adult adoptees have grown up feeling different, as if life began when they were adopted. They do not know what happened after they were born, why they were relinquished and more importantly, their genetic history. It was vitally important my son be aware of a disease that killed his birth grandfather at 37 and nearly killed his birthmother at 40. I am relieved to advise Michael now knows his genetic history. We were reunited Thanksgiving weekend after 9/11.

Connecticut adult adoptees deserve to have the same basic right given to all Connecticut non-adopted residents. Adult adoptees deserve to know their origin and know their medical history. It is vital not only to their health, but also the health of their children. Adult adoptees are grown adults. They deserve respect and dignity. Now is the time to change the unfair, outdated and discriminatory Connecticut law that sealed their true original birth certificates. Non-adopted adults take for granted their access to their original birth certificates, yet they are denying this same right to adult adoptees.

Please pass Senate Bill 977.

Sincerely,
Barbara Montgomery
Norwalk