Speaking Out About Stereotypes

Ghetto. Slut. Punk.

Compassionate. Amazing. Survivor.

Me.

Names, labels and stereotypes creep into a child’s world at an early age. By the time children reach high school, some of those images or thoughts, many of which are incorrect, have come to be perceived as the truth.

“When people tell you stuff over and over you start to believe it, you start to own it,” said Jessica Malcolm, 15, a sophomore at Lyman Memorial High School in Lebanon.

On Tuesday, a group of 125 students from throughout the greater Hartford area gathered in the cafeteria of Ellington High School to discuss stereotypes and then hash out why people use them and whether some of them are real. The event, hosted by the Connecticut YOUTH Forum, and supported by the EHS group Rise Above, was meant to raise awareness of how others are perceived based on their race, gender and socio-economic background, among others.

The Hartford-based nonprofit provides a platform for students from throughout the state to meet monthly and discuss topics from violence to poverty to racism. Meredith Elgart, one of the Forum organizers, said she was pleased with the free-flowing exchange of ideas and theories shared in Ellington.

After setting through ground rules for discussion – respect being the core principle – the students went through a series of exercises including “up-downs” which required them to stand up to answer a question and signify whether they thought they were part of a specific group, such as popular vs. unpopular or attended an urban, suburban or rural school.

They were encouraged to throw the words out into the room, not hold back. Some stereotypes listed include that urban students are ignorant, ghetto, loud and come from impoverished backgrounds; suburban students are mean, rich kids; rural students are hicks and racist.

In addition, black people cannot speak using proper English. All female students in rural areas wear The North Face jackets and Uggs. And all students from the city eat Popeyes Chicken in class or drop out of school altogether.

Once the words were spoken they were addressed.

N’kaibrya Jennings, a 16-year-old sophomore from New Britain High School, quickly answered Hunter, a fellow sophomore and 16-year-old from RHAM High School, when he said there is some truth to the stereotype that inner city teens come from fractured and unsupportive backgrounds and hardly get an opportunity to make their lives better.

“No matter where you are or what you’ve been through, you make yourself who you are,” she said.

If someone took the microphones being passed around the room they were encouraged to do more than just answer yes or no to a question, they were asked to explain their answer.

For East Granby sophomore Lauren Burkert, 15, this meant having to explain how she felt about the slang and hateful names used to describe her sexuality.

“I learned to ignore it,” she said of the stereotypes of a gay woman.

When asked what label she’d pick for herself, Lauren paused to think and then said, “I don’t know that I’d pick one. I just want to be me and to be loved by people for being me.”

Shanice Nixon, 18, of Bridgeport and a student at the American School for the Deaf, signed furiously when she described how felt being called mute or retarded.

“I’m deaf. It doesn’t mean I can’t speak,” Nixon said through an interpreter.

Throughout the event the students wore nametags, and in some cases multiple tags, with either their real name or names they’ve been called. The labels ranged from “happy” to “noisy” to “slut” to words that cannot be printed on Patch.

Ellington high junior Tyler Vanagas, 16, explained that just because he skateboards and wears flannel shirts, doesn’t mean he’s a punk that could care less about school.

“I’m a good kid, not a punk, who tries hard in school,” Tyler told the group.

Jorge, a Mansfield resident who attends school at the Hartford Job Corps, said it’s disappointing that people feel the need to label others.

“I think people use stereotypes because they need to feel safe,” said Margo Bailey, 15, an Ellington sophomore. She added that there are so many gray areas in life that by labeling others, people sometime feel more confident and comfortable by falsely thinking they know all about someone based on how a person looks.

After the forum, as the groups departed the cafeteria to get back on their school buses and head back to their hometowns, Ellington high sophomore Ben Friedman, 15, said he was glad the school was able to host the forum.

“It’s good to expand, to break away from what we normally see,” he said. “You need to break out of your comfort zone, to be able to share your thoughts without being afraid of being judged.”

The CT YOUTH Forum is open to all high school aged youth in Connecticut. The group’s next meeting is April 12 in East Hampton where they will discuss drama. If you have questions or would like to get involved, contact Danielle Joseph at Djoseph@ctforum.org or 860-509-0909 ext. 13 or visit www.ctforum.org.