Ludlowe Athlete Who Survived Fatal Crash: It's OK To Ask For Help

FAIRFIELD, CT — They say that if your heart breaks, you want it to break open.

For Denholm Feldman, 18, a senior at Fairfield Ludlowe High School, a series of challenges in his life — while difficult to deal with — have helped inspire him to open up and ask for help.

Toward that end, he was nominated by his football coach, Mitch Ross, for the 2021 USA Football Heart of a Giant Award, which is presented by the Hospital for Special Surgery and the New York Giants organization.

“For me, this nomination meant a chance to share a story that many other people probably experience in their life,” said Denholm, a co-captain of his team.

Just over a year ago, Denholm was involved in a terrible car crash on Block Island, Rhode Island, which took the life of his teammate and good friend, Jake Panus, at age 16.

Although he received a broken nose, crushed jaw, and concussion, Denholm considered himself lucky to be alive.

“It is easy to look at Denholm and think, ‘Here is a young man who just happens to be lucky and has it all,’” Ross said. “However, luck has nothing to do with Denholm's successes and outstanding character.”

Along with the trauma surrounding the accident, two months afterward, he returned to football only to suffer a galaxy of injuries requiring nine months of intensive rehabilitation.

During that same time, while he watched a close family member struggling with the trials of addiction, he also saw his parents get divorced.

“Yet Denholm was able to persevere and work on overcoming all of these obstacles,” Ross said.

The coach noted him as a great example of perseverance.

“In life, every person faces challenges that at times seem overwhelming (but if) we just work on one issue at a time, these seemingly impossible challenges can be overcome,” he said.

Denholm’s mom, Stephanie Feldman, expressed how proud she was of her son.

“The accident on Block island in August, 2020, when we lost Jake, was a devastating and life-altering event for everyone involved and will continue to be forever,” she said.

In observing her son’s healing process, she said the surprising light was how much the community came forward to help where it could.

“The support was unbelievable,” she said. “Teachers, coaches, friends and teammates reached out to us in many ways and we are very grateful.”

Feldman expressed appreciation for the award nomination, but also for her son’s healing and learned ability to reach out in the process.

“I am so proud that he has been willing and open to share his struggles this past year,” she said.

The award will be pared down to 11 finalists in the coming weeks among high school football players from the tri-state area. These will receive $1,000 for their high school’s football program, while the grand prize winner’s school will get an additional $4,000.

The students have been nominated by their coaches for their commitment, teamwork, will, character and dedication.

“Denholm has never been a leader who leads with empty words, but instead a leader who leads in the best way possible, by example,” Ross said.

For Denholm, who when contacted urged that a mention be made of The Jake Panus Scholarship Fund, the most important example seems to center in sharing one’s truth.

“It is hard to see what is going on within someone’s life just by seeing them in school or at practice or just walking down the street,” Denholm said, noting that people need not feel a need to hide what they’re going through.

“There is someone out there who knows your pain and wants to talk,” he said.

“I want to de-stigmatize asking for help and see people receive that help,” he said.