Candy Terrorism: The Jellybean Edition, South Windsor High Ice Hockey, Yoga for Golfers

Good morning, South Windsor! Today is Wednesday, March 6, 2013; there are 300 days left in the year.

Friends, I want to talk to you about candy terrorism.

I coined the phrase to mean having the expectation for something delicious based on a candy’s appearance, only to be surprised by another - far less palatable - flavor.

The example I’ve used in the past is when people put hard candies on a dish. Say, for example, you pull out a red disc, expecting to taste cherry or, at worst, strawberry, only to have your tongue explode with the taste of cinnamon.

That, my friends, is candy terrorism.

I want to add to the list of offenders: Brach’s.

Why they insist on putting licorice jelly beans in with the rest of the awesome flavors is beyond me. That they mix in purple to confuse us even further shows the depths of their depravity.

Yes, I recently pulled my annual “Hey, I’m going to eat this purple jelly bean... ZOMG I’M GOING TO BARF!” routine by plopping a black licorice egg in my mouth.

You may ask, “But Ted, why do you even buy that brand if you do that every year? Aren’t you an idiot?”

Because be quiet, that’s why. Leave me alone. This is about Brach’s, not me.

Here’s your Daily 5:

1. The South Windsor High boys ice hockey team takes on Darien on the road in the first round of the state Division I tournament today. GO BOBCATS!

2. The Inland Wetlands Commission meeting has been canceled.

3. The Redevelopment Agency meeting has been canceled, too.

4. Yoga for Golfers at 4:30 p.m.

5. ICAM composers seminar at 5 p.m.