My Pregnancy Advice, South Windsor School Board Meeting, Library Registration

Good morning, South Windsor! Today is Tuesday, March 12, 2013; there are 294 days left in the year.

I’m certainly not the first person to write about incompetence (my own) coupled with impending fatherhood (also my own).

But I do believe there is some material to be mined concerning certain truths about pregnancy, particularly from a male perspective.

To wit, I offer the following advice:

Do -

• Answer any and all questions concerning the baby with, “I can’t wait!” Even if you can wait. Men, trust me on this one. It’ll save you hours of grief.

• Tell her she looks beautiful. This goes a long way, particularly when you shoot your mouth off about her waddling around like a penguin.

• Put up with the anecdotes about how feet are pushing into her rib cage, or how her stomach hurts because it’s expanding. The only good response to any and all of these comments is, “I’m sorry, honey. Is there anything I can do?”

Do not -

• Pat your wife’s tummy and say, “You’re welcome.” She won’t seem particularly appreciative of you if she’s in her 30th month.

• Comment about how often she has to go to the bathroom. This can result in decapitation. Yours, not hers.

• Ask if you can go to Vegas around the time the baby is due. You’d think this would be self evident. Yeah. Self evident.

Anyway, I can’t wait!

Here’s your Daily 5:

1. The South Windsor Board of Education meets tonight at 7 p.m. at Timothy Edwards Middle School

2. The South Windsor planning & zoning commission meeting scheduled for 7:30 p.m. is canceled.

3. Job search group in East Windsor at 10 a.m.

4. Registration for children’s programs at 2 p.m. at the South Windsor public library.

5. Greenleaf Pottery: classes in wheel thrown pottery today at 6 p.m.