Attention: The Cat is No Longer in the Tree

You've heard about the , right?

You must have. Since its publication on this site yesterday, the story has rattled around our nation's media corridors, spreading far and wide like a virus, like news, baby, like when Angelina Kardashian Hollywoodface visits a new African capital city or Pauly D is captured on film looking confused in Central Park.

Kidding.

I have no details other than to tell you that the cat, which had been stuck in the tree since Saturday, is no longer there. I drove this afternoon past the River Oak Drive home where it was yesterday, peering down nonchalantly from its ridiculous perch, and it was gone. Simply gone. And no one was home to tell me how that happened, if anyone knows at all.

As of yesterday, no one could determine the cat's owner. And everyone wanted to keep it alive, which is completely understandable.

I received a few calls from people wondering if it was their cat, and I know one local posted on this site, beating me to the punch about the cat being out of the tree. Burke Brennan, the county's spokesman, called me this morning to let me know that, as far as the fire department is concerned, a cat that climbs up a tree is generally capable of returning to the ground without help. This is why they don't respond to cat-in-the-tree calls (in addition, I imagine, to the strain it would put on the department).

So, there you have it. The story is over. You can return to your jobs and families. Unless we figure out who the owner is. Then there's at least another story in this narrative.

This is why I'm a dog person.