Beat a Cyberbully: Here’s How Parents Can Help

While remote learning during the COVID-19 pandemic lowered reported instances of bullying, parents fear that, for some students, going back to school will mean going back to being bullied.

“Keiki are very vulnerable. Every time my two kids go on the computer, I get a little anxious,” said Kim McLean of Nanakuli. “I’m very concerned about cyberbullying.”

Now 16 years after the inception of National Bullying Prevention Month in October, technology’s ever-greater presence in children’s lives has given bullying a new outlet. With just a click, cyberbullies can taunt, harass and threaten relentlessly, even reaching into the home via cellphone or computer. As a result, victims report feeling hopeless, isolated and even suicidal.

What can parents do to protect their kids? Taking an interest in their children’s online world can make a difference, says the National Parent Teacher Association.

This interest does not necessarily require parents to become tech experts. Instead, the federal stopbullying.gov site advises parents to watch for subtle clues that something is wrong, such as their child becoming withdrawn, hiding their screen when others are nearby or reacting emotionally to what’s happening on their device.

“With normal bullying, I could be afraid of gym class, or recess, or the walk home, but because my kids have the phone or devices at all times, they’re exposed to it at all times. This seems a little more daunting,” said Kim’s husband Ian.

Talking with kids openly-and often-helps too. “The more you talk to your children about
bullying, the more comfortable they will be telling you if they see or experience it,” UNICEF says in its online tips for parents.

“Knowing our children allows us to keep them safe because we are aware of mood changes that don’t seem to correspond to anything within the family dynamic or anything we’re going through at that moment,” adds Ian.

Beyond talking, listening and observing their kids, parents shouldn’t be afraid to make and
enforce rules for online activities, experts say.

Both McLean children are allowed to use electronics as part of their daily lives. But they have been taught to block or delete the contact of someone who attacks or harasses them through the Internet.

Paul and Aran Parsons of Kihei have daughters, nine and eleven, who have been taught that the abundance of internet material, good and bad, necessitates checking with their parents if they want to view a certain video.

Both families cited the tips and reminders they’ve considered together with their kids from free resources available on jw.org, the official website of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

“Our kids know that on jw.org they have free rein. They don’t have to ask us, ‘Can we watch this?’ or ‘Is this OK to watch?’ There’s something for everybody on there,” said Paul.

The McLean's daughter especially recommends one of the site’s short animated videos “Beat a Bully Without Using Your Fists.”

“One thing I learned from the video is ways to avoid being bullied, like walking with a friend, acting confident, or just avoid places where you know you can get bullied,” she said.