Neighbor News
Cyberbullying: How Can Parents Help?
The emotional effects of cyberbullying can be devastating. Local families can find helpful resources to prevent and respond to bullying.
Treasure Valley residents, Josh and Shaina Luevano are among the many parents who are concerned about bullying. The Luevanos use a proactive approach when helping their 10-year-old son to effectively deal with bullies.
“Bullying is something I worry about because we’re so connected through different technologies that are easily accessible to our kids,” Josh said.
Shaina agreed. “It can be hard for a child experiencing cyberbullying to get away from it,” she said. “Home is no longer the safe haven from a bully that it once was because of how connected kids are via their smartphones and social media.”
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Technology’s ever-greater presence in children’s lives has given bullying a new outlet. With just a click, cyberbullies can taunt, harass and threaten relentlessly, even reaching into the home via cellphone or computer. As a result, victims report feeling hopeless, isolated and even suicidal.
What can parents do to protect their kids? Taking an interest in their children’s online world can make a difference, says the National Parent Teacher Association.
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This interest does not necessarily require parents to become tech experts. Instead, the federal stopbullying.gov site advises parents to watch for subtle clues that something is wrong, such as their child becoming withdrawn, hiding their screen when others are nearby or reacting emotionally to what’s happening on their device.
For the Luevanos, that has meant being keenly aware of what “normal” looks like for their son.
“He is a very happy, extroverted child that loves being with others,” Shania said. “If he were to become withdrawn, antisocial or sad, it would be concerning to me.”
Talking with kids openly — and often — helps too. “The more you talk to your children about bullying, the more comfortable they will be telling you if they see or experience it,” UNICEF says in its online tips for parents.
As their son approaches his teenage years, the Luevanos have found that talking less and listening more works best. “We try to allow him to express himself so that he knows his feelings are important,” Josh said.
Shaina added: “We also focus on not panicking or reacting negatively if we hear something unexpected or that worries us.”
Beyond talking, listening and observing their kids, parents shouldn’t be afraid to make and enforce rules for online activities, experts say.
The Luevanos allow their son to play online games, but he is expected to limit interactions with people his parents don’t know. “The rules for online games are that he is not allowed to play with strangers,” Shaina said. “We ask that he not use public chats where he doesn’t know people.”
“Our son has never violated our trust,” Josh said. “Because of this, we allow him some independence to make decisions when appropriate and express to him that we're allowing the choice because we trust him.”
The Luevanos cited the tips and reminders they’ve considered together with their son from free resources available on jw.org, the official website of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Their son found one of the site's short animated videos, "Beat a Bully Without Using Your Fists," especially helpful.
"I learned to not respond to the bullies," he said. "They may try to diminish your self-esteem, but it takes strength to report them and it’s the right thing to do."
Resources:
https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/teenagers/ask/being-cyberbullied