Best of Craigslist: Literal Ball and Chain; Hiring Pro Pooper-Scoopers

The following items and postings were found on Craigslist for the Naperville, Lisle and Woodridge area. Note: Patch has no control over the status of these posts on Craigslist and how long they remain available.

Literal Ball and Chain

Ah, matrimonial bliss! … or is it, really? If perhaps you think your newly-wedded friend is locking in his pick a bit too soon—or if you just want to make him laugh—this $30 fake ball ‘n’ chain from a Naperville seller might be the perfect gift from a best man. It’s just sand-filled plastic, though so probably not recommended for actually locking down prisoners or wandering husbands. 

Hiring Pro Pooper-Scoopers

Think your job is a load of, er, dung? How about a career change to a job that is literally loading dung? That’s right, it’s your dream job: professional pooper-scooper for the Naperville/Lisle/Woodridge area! Oh and don’t think this is just some entry-level grunt job… sorry, but you “must have experience cleaning up yard waste.” Man, you can’t get in on the ground floor anywhere these days.

Bright-Green $150 Sunglasses

Do Oakley sunglasses really protect your eyes so very much better than the cruddy $5 pair I picked up at Wal-Mart? Or is it the look, or a prestige thing? Well, if green is your color, and you like paying the price of five fake balls-and-chains (five!) for sunglasses that you’ll probably step on at some point anyway, a Lisle seller has original Oakley Frogskins with “antifreeze” lenses for $150. At that price, I’d expect actual frog skin (though, ew.) 

Rock Around the Clock

One o’clock, two o’clock, three o’clock, rock! That classic 1955 hit has never been more appropriate than with this Naperville item for $50: a vintage electric clock embedded in a 50-70-year-old septarian stone that appears to be in the middle of exploding into a spray of yellow crystals. “This would be a very nice gift for anyone who enjoys the beauty of the natural world,” the author writes. 

Wall-Mounted Fold-Out Hoop

Know those arcade-style basketball-shooting games? They’re available for your own home, but they usually take up quite a bit of space.  Never fear: this cool gadget folds up and into a little cupboard not much larger than a dartboard, with a handy little rack beneath for the three basketballs. Perfect way to train your little future Chicago Bulls superstar! 

Help Find Lost Terrier

We like to spotlight at least one missing pet note in these Craigslist roundups, so this week we have a white Staffordshire bull terrier girl; see the picture to the top right. No name is provided, but a $200 reward is being offered for her safe return. Good luck, pooch!

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