Comfort Zone Hearing, in Tweets

On Wednesday evening, the College Park Patch took a little field trip to Upper Marlboro to watch the county's Board of Zoning Appeals discuss whether the Comfort Zone is .  

If you're the type of person who prefers your news delivered in 140 character bursts, today's your day -- we took the liberty of rounding up Patch's tweets from the hearing and posting them below. You can find a more traditional  story . 

Please note: some tweets have been omitted due to lack or relevance or clarity (it was a 5 hour meeting, after all.) Feel free to check them out - and the rest of our Twitter history - @CollegePrkPatch. 

6:04 p.m. This evening we'll be reporting live from the county admin. building in Upper Marlboro, where the BOA will discuss the Comfort Zone.

6:10 p.m. A bit of background: Comfort Zone sells "adult products." Its property use agreement specifically prohibits that. Hence, this hearing.

6:32 p.m. Everyone associated with Comfort Zone hearing was asked to come forward. Sort of a comical crush of people surrounding a rather small table.

6:33 p.m. Robert Carl, Comfort Zone owner, forgot his address. 

6:40 p.m. Apparently a computer crash wiped out all of Comfort Zone's itemized sales info, which was information requested by the city.

6:42 p.m. CZ's attorney said that requesting a subpoena for sales information 2 days prior to today's hearing is an attempt to "sandbag" the business

6:51 p.m. Board is not buying the computer crash as a reason for no sales data.

6:58 p.m. City attorney Suellen Ferguson: "The center picture, I believe, are dildos, is that correct?"

7:31 p.m. 1.5 hours later, the board has decided not to dismiss the case, based on preliminary proceedings. I'm going to die here.

7:55 p.m. Code enforcement manager Jeannie Ripley was asked to describe what she saw in Comfort Zone when she visited in October.

7:57 p.m. Owner Robert Carl agreed that Ripley's description of the contents of his store is accurate.

8:02 p.m. Board is going through a series of photos of store's products. CZ lawyer Levi Zaslow objects.

8:07 p.m. I'm wondering how much of this hearing will be appropriate to quote. Right now discussion is centered on pumps.

8:08 p.m. "That row at the top there...the 'spinning sex swing?' Does that fall into the definition of sexual conduct?" Ripley agrees that it does.

8:13 p.m. Poor Jeannie Ripley has been asked to describe in cringing detail almost every item sold in Comfort Zone. It's been uncomfortable.

8:18 p.m. Ripley's description of Comfort Zone products, cont.: "We have an actual..lady's...rear end." This is what you're missing, College Park.

8:19 p.m. OK I'm done, I promise.

8:24 p.m. Ripley has been describing Comfort Zone's sex toys for upwards of an hour. This must be the biggest store ever.

8:25 p.m. Correction: Half an hour. This conversation has scrambled my sense of time.

8:35 p.m. A new stack of vivid color photographs of CZ's inventory has been produced. Are we about to do this again? #facepalm

8:57 p.m. It has been declared that there will be 2-3 hours more of testimony. Stay tuned.

9:19 p.m. Appx.13 residents of a condo nearby signed a petition in opposition to Comfort Zone.

9:26 p.m. Resident (who brought petition) has not been in CZ. "I definitely choose not to enter that establishment," he said.

9:30 p.m. Other CP resident present - speaking against CZ as well - has not entered the store either.

9:39 p.m. A customer has taken the stand. Does consider CZ to be a variety store: has gag gifts, baseball cards, DVDs and yes, some sex toys, he said.

9:41 p.m. Customer, a Bethesda resident, compares CZ to a store called Night Dreams in MoCo. Anyone been there? Apt comparison?

9:46 p.m. Some debate as to what is an adult product and what is not. Suellen is readying one of the pictorial exhibits.

9:48 p.m. City attorney Suellen Ferguson showing customer a picture of "people looking like they're having a sex act here."

9:49 p.m. Customer said he can't tell what the picture is of; needs bifocals. Quote.

10:02 p.m. Over a minute spent on whether a picture of two women is sexual in nature. Ripley says yes, Zaslow says no.

10:14 p.m. FYI, a store does not need a special use and occupancy permit if adult items comprise less than 10 percent of the store’s stock.

10:17 p.m. Zaslow is asking Ripley to go through the number of non-adult (or family) DVDs in her pictures, individiually. So far, 1,571.

10:18 p.m. Board seems skeptical that counting individual "family" DVDs and baseball cards makes it a variety store, v. an adult store.

10:34 p.m. Zaslow has two main points: 1) What is being sold has no relevance. Only stock on the floor is relevant.

10:36: Zaslow's other main point: Ripley took inventory Oct 18. Violation was filed on Oct. 12, so she cannot speak to stock on that day.

10:38 p.m. FYI: During Ripley's visit, she saw: 7 leashes, 16 leg cuffs, 30 handcuffs, 20 whips and paddles, 10 love ropes, 5 golden rings...

10:39 p.m. 5 golden rings was my own addition. Apologies.

11:01 p.m. We have entered hour 5 of the Comfort Zone proceedings.

11:04 p.m. Looks like another hearing date is being scheduled, as the board seems to have noticed it's getting late.

11:09 p.m. Talk of love ropes has been put aside as board members contemplate their Blackberrys, searching for a date to pick discussions up again.

11:12 p.m. Trying to coordinate the schedules of 11 people is harder than proving the existence of God. Fact.

11:13 p.m. Yahtzee! See you all on Wed., May 11 to continue this discussion. Good night!