5 Things You Can't Do This Independence Day

Independence Day isn't a Hallmark holiday even though there is an infinite amount of gifts and trinkets that go along with it. However, as the nation prepares to celebrate the Fourth of July, Patch decided to bring you a comical list of some things you can't do to enjoy the holiday weekend. Check it out:

1. Use Roman candles to shoot the massive amount of birds that meander around the powerlines at the Telegraph/Reece Road intersection. One, in Anne Arundel County, and two, those birds are crazy. They'd probably attack whoever was firing at them. 

2. Dress up like Uncle Sam and expect to get some of the delicious treats at  before others. They don't show favoritism to white-bearded patriots. You'll just have to get in line at 5 a.m. like everyone else. 

3. Paint Old Mill High with . The school recently had its entire exterior re-painted and, well, they beat you to it. The local school's colors are already red, white and blue. I mean come on, they're the Patriots. 

4. Go to on Sunday. I know they're closed. I've known that for years, but I always end up craving their chicken deliciousness the most on Sundays. It really is a fascinating concept by the company's management, but man, I could really go for a No. 1 with a sweet tea. 

5. Fight off aliens from another planet in order to esnure the survival of not only the United States, but mankind. There are plenty of reasons why this won't work, but the main one is Bill Pullman isn't president. Thanks a lot Obama.