Five Fake April Fool's Day Headlines

Happy April Fool's Day! 

We're not interested in fooling anyone, because it's just plain mean. 

But if we wanted to trick local residents, we might publish these stories and try to pass them off as real news about the Odenton-Severn area. Enjoy!

Developer Proposes New 125,000-Unit Apartment Complex

Citing the influx of new residents coming to the area, the Dolben Cos. has proposed building the largest apartment building in the world. 

The complex would feature 10 Olympic-sized swimming pools, a 48-screen movie theater and a 500,000 square-foot clubhouse. There would also be a total of six parking spaces.

To build the project, officials said they would take over the area known as "Boomtown" in North Odenton, though the adult video outlet would remain due to its designation as a historic landmark.

Starting rents at the new complex would start at $4,400 monthly.

New Orleans Kitchen Re-Opens as a Burger King

 Last year, the New Orleans Kitchen abruptly closed after a short but impactful run as a place for po' boys and bread pudding. Owners decided to re-open, this time as a Burger King. 

"Sure, I love a good crawfish po' boy, but ultimately I just have a weakness for the Whopper," chef Rusty Evers said. "It's just easier than trying to make authentic food from the Big Easy."

Maryland Live! Introduces Horse Racing

Everyone wanted the casino to be at a racetrack. Those wishes have been granted, as officials from the Cordish Cos. announced that they will build a dirt track around the Arundel Mills Mall, allowing for live betting.

"It will be a perfect fit, as we'll just borrow the horses they use at Medieval Times," said David Cordish, owner of the Cordish Cos. 

Obama Closes Fort Meade, Shifts Jobs to New Jersey

President Obama announced a surprise BRAC proceeding, shifting the opertions of Fort Meade to a new military base near the Meadowlands in New Jersey. The move will result in the relocation of all agencies, including U.S. Cyber Command and NSA.

"Ever since Hurricane Sandy, Gov. Chris Christie and I have become best buds," Obama said. "Whatever he wants, he gets. Besides, he's a big guy and I am a little bit afraid of him."

Orioles, Nationals to Merge, Ballpark to be Constructed in Odenton

Major League Baseball announced that the Orioles and Nationals will merge into a single franchise representing the entire Washington-Baltimore region. Officials said they'd build a new ballpark at the south end of the old Nevamar site. 

"We always felt it was a little bit silly to have two teams so close to one another," MLB Commissioner Alan H. "Bud" Selig said. "Odenton is pretty much right in the middle, so it seems like a good fit."

Proposed names for the new franchise include the "Academy Yard Yo-Yo's," "Suburban Smash" and the "Odenton Patch."