The Menace Of Bullying: What Beverly Parents Are Saying

BEVERLY, MA — An informal survey of Patch readers in New England shows great concern among parents about the extent and severity of bullying their children experience in school and online. Almost nine in 10 parents said their child had been bullied at least once, and nearly half said the bullying had occurred frequently.

In Beverly, 18 parents responded to the anonymous survey, with just four respondents saying their children had never been bullied. One parent said bullying was so bad in Beverly Public Schools they were forced to move out of the district.

Beverly Public Schools has a zero-tolerance policy on bullying, but survey respondents had mixed reactions on its effectiveness.

"It’s horrible. Everything is swept under the rug. I have videos, explicit dirt things said in text. School does nothing," one parent whose child is bullied often said. But other parents noted the policy includes an integrated curriculum, on-site counseling and that the bully can be removed from the victim's classroom. In extreme cases, the targeted child may be shadowed by staff members.

Parents left little doubt as to the consequences of unchecked bullying, saying their children dread going to school and their grades have suffered, that they have been forced to change schools, that they have been physically harmed or suffered from low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. Some parents said they knew of bullied children who had committed suicide.

"I think it makes the children feel withdrawn and really hesitant and returning to school. How can you blame them?" one parent said. "If they are feeling unsafe I wouldn't want to go back either."

While most parents said they were aware that Beverly has adopted policies intended to curb or stop bullying, many believe those policies are poorly enforced -- if they are enforced at all. Parents used terms like "ineffective," "inadequate" and "a joke" to describe them. Others claimed the policies are simply not enforced.

"Tell the truth and, if there is a policy, follow it," another respondent said. "Stop sweeping it under a rug."

Patch has undertaken extensive coverage of the bullying issue in The Menace of Bullying: A Patch Advocacy Reporting Project.

The regional parent survey, timed to coincide with National Bullying Prevention Month in October, was posted on more than 100 Patch sites in Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Rhode Island. The survey is not scientific, but could be considered a broad indicator of parents’ feelings about the seriousness of bullying in their schools and communities.

Take the Patch bullying survey

As of Tuesday, Oct. 15, more than 420 parents has responded to the Patch survey. The key findings were:

• Nearly 89 percent of parents said their children had been bullied at least once, and nearly half -- 47 percent -- said bullying had been frequent. Only 11 percent said their children had never been bullied.
• Bullying took many forms, from teasing and name-calling to exclusion from groups to physical harm such as punching or kicking. Nearly a third of respondents said their children had experienced some sort of physical harm.
• Bullying took many forms, from teasing and name-calling to exclusion from groups to physical harm such as punching or kicking. Nearly a third of respondents said their children had experienced some sort of physical harm.

These informal findings should be compared to statistics compiled in more scientific surveys, which note that:

• Bullying affects 1 in 3 U.S. schoolchildren (NoBully.org)
• 59 percent of U.S. students experience cyberbullying (Pew Research Center)
• 160,000 kids stay home from school every day to avoid bullies, National Association of School Psychologists

"I have heard from many parents that their children have experienced bullying, and that very little is done in response. My child has expressed to me that there are multiple students at their school who many know to be bullies, yet they are not reprimanded in appropriate ways when issues arise," One Beverly parent said. "I am curious to know what sort of education is going into addressing bad behavior — is the school simply suspending them/giving detention, or are they having meaningful discussions around their actions and decision making? Are they following up with the students who were involved in the bullying situations to ensure that they're not still being bullied or threatened? Are they keeping a close eye on the behavior of the students in question?"

To comment on this story, email bullies@patch.com. And to learn more about bullying prevention, visit Patch partner NoBully.org.

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