The Menace Of Bullying: What Danvers Parents Are Saying

DANVERS, MA — An informal survey of Patch readers in New England shows great concern among parents about the extent and severity of bullying their children experience in school and online. Almost nine in 10 parents said their child had been bullied at least once, and nearly half said the bullying had occurred frequently.

In Danvers, eight parents responded to the anonymous survey, with just two respondents saying their children had never been bullied. Two parents said their children were "frequently" targeted by bullies. Danvers Public Schools has a zero-tolerance policy on bullying, but some survey respondents did not know about it while others had mixed reactions on its effectiveness.

"Kids who stick up are the ones who get in trouble," one respondent said.

Parents left little doubt as to the consequences of unchecked bullying, saying their children dread going to school and their grades have suffered, that they have been forced to change schools, that they have been physically harmed or suffered from low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. Some parents said they knew of bullied children who had committed suicide.

"He hates school, he never wants to do any extra circular events, he’s very hesitant to make any new friends, has a whole negative outlook on school, people, etc. ," one Danvers parent said.

While most parents said they were aware that Danvers has adopted policies intended to curb or stop bullying, many believe those policies are poorly enforced -- if they are enforced at all. Parents used terms like "ineffective," "inadequate" and "a joke" to describe them. Others claimed the policies are simply not enforced.

"They’re good, but aren’t enforced enough," another Danvers parent said.

Patch has undertaken extensive coverage of the bullying issue in The Menace of Bullying: A Patch Advocacy Reporting Project.

The regional parent survey, timed to coincide with National Bullying Prevention Month in October, was posted on more than 100 Patch sites in Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Rhode Island. The survey is not scientific, but could be considered a broad indicator of parents’ feelings about the seriousness of bullying in their schools and communities.

Take the Patch bullying survey

As of Tuesday, Oct. 15, more than 420 parents has responded to the Patch survey. The key findings were:

• Nearly 89 percent of parents said their children had been bullied at least once, and nearly half -- 47 percent -- said bullying had been frequent. Only 11 percent said their children had never been bullied.
• Bullying took many forms, from teasing and name-calling to exclusion from groups to physical harm such as punching or kicking. Nearly a third of respondents said their children had experienced some sort of physical harm.
• Bullying took many forms, from teasing and name-calling to exclusion from groups to physical harm such as punching or kicking. Nearly a third of respondents said their children had experienced some sort of physical harm.

These informal findings should be compared to statistics compiled in more scientific surveys, which note that:

• Bullying affects 1 in 3 U.S. schoolchildren (NoBully.org)
• 59 percent of U.S. students experience cyberbullying (Pew Research Center)
• 160,000 kids stay home from school every day to avoid bullies, National Association of School Psychologists

The schools need to "understand the kids and why they are being bullied and how. Treat every case differently and listen to the victims," another Danvers parent said.

To comment on this story, email bullies@patch.com. And to learn more about bullying prevention, visit Patch partner NoBully.org.

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From the experts

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