Remembering Fair Haven's Dot Connor

It's a sure sign that a treasured member of the community has passed when the Fair Haven Firehouse is cloaked in mourning buntings, the flag hangs at half mast and the marquee tells the sad story: In Memory of Dot Connor, 57 Year Aux(iliary) Member.

Connor, who made Fair Haven her and her family's home most of her life, died at 90 on Monday, June 10, at Meridian Nursing and Rehabilitation in Shrewsbury.

She was one of many well-known and liked Connors in the area, who not only earned the life member status in the Fair Haven Fire Company's Ladies Auxiliary, but was also a near lifetime communicant of the Church of the Nativity in town as well. She was known as one of those tireless, open-armed hometown matriarchs who embodied a Fair Haven charm that can't be bought or sold.

"We lost a wonderful person this morning," daughter-in-law Dale Connor said in a message the day of Dot's passing. " ... a wonderful person to everyone, always smiling and never a bad word about anyone. She is now with her love JW. RIP Dorothy. We love you and will miss you." emembered vividly as a devoted family woman who was " daughter-in-law Dale Connor said in a message the day of her mother-in-law's death. 

Remembered vividly as a devoted family woman, Dot was often seen surrounded by a passel of Connors and Connors by proxy, her smile enveloping their love in a scenario Norman Rockwell himself might envy. And there were many photos of those moments.

One, in particular, Fair Haven First Aid member Katy Badt Frissora commented on, saying that there were "so many great things to smile at in this photo. Dot's joy at having her family around her ... Logan's feet around Mike's neck. Tim's hands holding his Mom's hand ..."

Sharon and Lynn Gilbert recounted "many fond memories of growing up on Fair Haven Road and the Connor family were our neighbors on Haggers Lane. Mrs. Connor was a cheerful, kind and generous lady who managed quite nicely to raise her large family in a rather small home. I know she will be missed so very much by her children and their families and by all who had the privilege of knowing her."

The memory of Dorothy Connor's signature warm presence is something that her friends are confident will sustain those who will miss her most.

"May the memories of Dot bring a smile to you all during this difficult time and the love you share as a family keep you strong," said fellow fire company member Ethel Hodgkiss Truex in a message to the family.

Born in Philadelphia, PA to Daniel and Marie (Moran) McDonald, Dorothy was, in addition to her long and significant fire company and church ties, a waitress with Eastern Inkeepers for 25 years. 

She is predeceased by: her husband of 60 years, James W. Connor, who died in 2007; her parents; her sisters, Margaret, Dolores and Gertrude; her brother, Charles; son, James T. Connor, according her obituary on legacy.com.

She is survived by: her sons, John D., and wife, Tina, of Howell, Michael, and wife Dale, of Fair Haven, and Timothy D., and wife Lori, of Ivorytown, CT; her daughters, Dolores "Dee" Morrissey, and husband David, of Tinton Falls, and Patricia "Trish" DePonti and husband, Steven, of Red Bank; her sister, Patricia Davis, of Florida; her grandchildren, James T. Jr., Tobey, Brian, Steven, Matthew, Shannon, Allison, Kyle, Erin, Timothy, Christina, John D. Jr., Christopher and Mikayla; and great-grandchildren, Terrence James, Hailey, Tyler, Thomas, Logan, Emma, Lindsey, Max and Addie, the obituary said.

Visitation will be held from 2 to 4 p.m. and 6 to 8 p.m. Friday, June 14, at the John E. Day Funeral Home, 85 Riverside Ave., Red Bank.

There will be a mass at 10 a.m. Saturday, June 15, at Church of the Nativity, Fair Haven. Interment will follow at Mt. Olivet Cemetery, Middletown. In lieu of flowers, the family prefers donations be made in Dorothy's memory to the Ladies Auxiliary of Fair Haven Fire Department, 645 River Rd., Fair Haven, NJ 07704, or the Alzheimer's Association, Greater NJ Chapter, 400 Morris Ave., Suite 251, Denville, NJ 07934.

Please tell us your memories of Dot Connor in the comments section below.