When we lose a loved one, being able to gather with friends and family to commemorate that person’s life through the sharing of stories and memories is an integral part of the healing process. People need people, and in times of trouble we need the support of the people around us the most. Having a good support network of friends and family can help keep normal grief from evolving into complicated or dysfunctional grief, chronic depression, and debilitative social isolation.
What is Normal (also known as uncomplicated) Grief? The best definition comes from psychologist Erich Lindemann in 1944, describing it as a syndrome with a predictable course and distinctive symptoms which can include any combination of (1) somatic distress, (2) preoccupation with the image of the deceased, (3) guilt, (4) hostility, and (5) loss of usual patterns of conduct. Eventually, these symptoms subside as the grieving person slowly heals.
Dysfunctional Grief can occur when the intensity of symptoms stays at a severe level and the person begins to adopt maladaptive and unhealthy ways of coping with the grief, such as an overreliance on avoidant behaviors. This type of grief is emotionally overwhelming and often self-destructive in its manifestation. Social isolation and a lack of support network is one of the risk factors for dysfunctional grief. Reach out, gather together, and divide the sadness by sharing joyful memories.
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