“Growing Old Is Not For The Faint Of Heart”

I am seventy-two years old and somewhat healthy. However I feel the vestiges of old age creeping up on me as I continue to stay active and vibrant. It’s funny how I see my contemporaries and say, “wow have they aged,” yet look at myself and still falsely see a man who still resembles his high school photo with of course an additional 30 pounds!

There were many important events in my life, the most salient might be the JFK assassination, the first moon landing and 9-11. Those are days I can recall where I was and my first thoughts. However there are millions of moments that lace together what is my life’s journey so far. School sports, proms, college , a first marriage, children, a divorce, a few careers and finally moving to beautiful Long Island for these last 25 years and finding my present wife of 14 years.

With that all said I can’t help but feel the world I live in is changing and has changed from the one I was born into. On a daily basis I wonder if the change is for the better or worse. Some might say it might be because I am not able to grasp the new energies of the future, others might say it’s because things just “ain’t like they used to be,” and some of us feel they used to be pretty good.

Yet, there were Civil Rights battles and the war in Vietnam along with the Nixon impeachment. Iran, Iraq and Afghanistan along with Grenada and Nicaragua and Noriega in Panama. All with the backdrop of the Cold War, nuclear bombs, and Red China.

Yet there we were with our families going to the beaches in the summer, perhaps skiing in the winter and watching the seasons roll by like the waves at the ocean. Sadly no life lives on forever and we all have witnessed the saying of a final goodbye to someone who tragically passed on too early and others who lived a very long full life.

It’s springtime and the daffodils are blossoming all over the east end. The trees and shrubs are waking up too, while the grass begins to grow again. With all this wonderment all around I still feel my strength slipping away and my energies too. I fall asleep watching T.V. And swear those new car headlights are too bright at night.

There isn’t a day l don’t make a remark about the cost of something that had gone up or is no longer available at all. Of course I love all the new stuff that’s come along like microwave ovens, internet shopping, the elimination of toll booths, and air-conditioning in cars! I remember the days before that!

All this said, I know what’s next, just not when. Will I get dementia? Will I get cancer and go quickly or linger ? Hopefully I never end up in a wheelchair or worse in a bed unable to move.

I still have so much junk that I have collected over a lifetime. My children will not want most of it if any of it and all of it will make its way to a dumpster. My photos, scrapbooks, trophies, dearest books, and little artifacts of my existence will be carted away to a dump.

The only bright thought is of the grandchildren and the joys they will have. Hopefully to experience, perhaps a family of their own and continuing the circle of life of my ancestors. I am not completely sure how I feel about a forever heaven and hell. I do know that during my life I experienced them both at times and experiencing heaven was much better. Yes growing old is not for the faint of heart but I am going to give it my best.