'Felines of New York' Profiles Cats Across NYC

“I don’t want to say I’m an official product tester, but I’ve definitely played with about ninety percent of what’s in here. If you have any questions about anything, just ask. I don’t work on commission, so I’m not going to mislead you.” — Misty, Park Slope

Ever since the Facebook page Humans of New York (HONY) went out-of-control viral circa 2011, creator Brandon Stanton has inspired innumerable spinoffs, parodies and PR campaigns.

Humans of Planet Earth. Humans of Uber. Humans of Planned Parenthood. Humans of [Your City Here]. Hipsters of New York. Millennials of New York. Humans of Judaism.

However, hardly any of the clones were able to capture the addictive sentimentality of the original — until Felines of New York (FONY), the ultimate copycat.

“Being a small business owner isn’t easy these days,” says a Park Slope cat who prefers to remain anonymous. “You have to do whatever you can to maintain your advantage over the big box stores. ... You walk in somewhere and there’s a cat, you’re like ‘Oh shit, there’s a cat. I’m coming back here.’ you know?”

Anonymous Park Slope cat is one of more than 100 cats — most of them house cats living in Brooklyn — who have professed their life-learned wisdoms to Ridgewood comic and cat whisperer Jim Tews.

Tews, 33, launched the portrait-and-interview series in February as a Tumblr, and has since expanded to Facebook and Instagram, where he’s racked up a total of almost 100,000 followers.

He’s even taken to recreating the fundraisers that Humans of New York sometimes launches for its subjects-in-need — with proceeds going to sick and homeless felines, instead.

Also in the HONY tradition, Tews will be releasing the official FONY book on Nov. 24. (It’s currently available for $11.56 on Amazon pre-order.)

“I’m not, like, reading the HONY posts and turning them into cat things,” Tews said in a recent interview with Patch. ”I definitely try to caricature whatever personality the cat seems to be projecting — or not projecting, depending on how reserved they are.”

And that’s exactly the site’s magic: FONY is satire, but it’s satire that’s somehow as touching as it is funny.

“As a cat owner, or even a dog owner, you imagine lives for your pets because you’re probably not with them all the time,” Tews said. ”You project on them, and you talk for them jokingly.”

Cats especially, he said, ”kind of reflect their owners’ attitudes a little bit and where they’re at. They’re in tune with some more stuff that I really think dogs and people aren’t.”

When Tews first launched the FONY Tumblr page, he said he was using mostly photos of his friends’ cats. But as his empire has expanded, he’s begun accepting invites from fans across New York to come photograph (and speak through) their cats.

An invite form on his Tumblr says: “I’d like to come take pictures of your cat. As long is you’re not a murderer, and as long as your cat won’t bite me.”

At this point, Tews said he’s getting almost too many requests to handle. “People get mad if I don’t respond right away,” he said.

Asked if he’s begun to think a little more like a cat, he admitted: “Kind of.“

“I keep a running little note file of different topics that would be funny to write something on,“ he said. “So I’ll go to that when I’m stuck. But I really try to make the caption reflect what’s coming through in the picture.”

You can follow Tews and his cat army on Tumblr, Instagram and Twitter. And don’t forget to pre-order what’s sure to be the hottest coffee table book of the holiday season.