An Adoptive Long Island Mom Shares Her Story

LEVITTOWN, NY — When Levittown couple Jane Waldman and Mark Braverman embarked on an international adoption journey 17 years ago, it was full of uncertainty and unknowns. Now, Jane Waldman remembers how far her daughter Elaina has come, from the first day she met her in a Russian orphanage.

"I was worried. I was concerned, it was one of the most difficult things I've done," she told Patch. Russia made sense for the Waldmans, Jane explains. The couple were of Russian descent, and they had some friends who had adopted from the country.

The couple, unable to have biological children of their own, considered domestic and foster adoptions but Waldman says she wouldn't have been able to handle the risks of a non-final adoption, possibly having to give up a child after a period of time. Adoption from Russia was still an option at the time, but a 2013 ban has meant that adoptions like these—60,000 adoptions by Americans over 22 years—are no longer possible.

Russia made sense for the Waldmans, Jane explains. The couple were of Russian descent, and they had some friends who had adopted from the country.

"We took two trips and immediately fell in love with Elaina," she said.

The couple didn't know the extent of Elaina's special needs—she was three years old and wasn't able to speak at all—but they knew they had an immediate emotional connection.

"As soon as we saw her she smiled ear to ear," easing concerns about reactive attachment disorder (RAD) a developmental issue that can occur in children who experience early neglect.

Back in America, Jane and her husband tried to offer every possible therapy and resource. Jane learned Russian, and they brought Elaina to physical therapy, speech therapy and other therapies.

"She couldn’t even tie a bow until she was ten. We eventually put her in pageants to see if she enjoyed it, and as a way to combat shyness."

The pageants led to modeling and acting, and this year the once-painfully shy girl walked in New York Fashion Week and had a role in a movie: "She loves it; she becomes someone who isn’t Elaina who is shy."

Waldman reflected on how far her daughter came, and what her life might have looked like if that adoption didn't happen, all those years ago.

"The kids who go through the orphanage system through their entire childhoods," have a grim future. But with health care, nutrition, and most importantly, a stable, loving family, Elaina was able to thrive, she said.

"No one on the runway knows she has a disability. She has overcome so much."

Jane's message for families thinking about adoption is optimistic but practical.

"You have to be really prepared and patient and you have to be willing to put your own life and career on hold."

"Nothing makes me happier than knowing she now has a lot of fun, and a lot of friends. Adoption isn't for everyone, I didn't even know if it was for me, but it's so worth it."