Woven With

I can’t remember when she gave it to me. I know it was ever so long ago before life changed abruptly catapulting me into unknown territory.

Most likely it was early in her marriage to my youngest son. I did not know his new bride well, but I knew he loved her and that truly was all that mattered.

I did wish we had time to lunch or shop or desperately seek common pleasures. We were so very different.

Susan is and was incredibly talented, a graduate of the famed Fashion Institute of Technology in NYC.

I could not cope with a button, much less a hem or seam.

And I was heavily consumed with a complicated lifestyle when my husband traveled weekly, often out of the country.

So I did not pursue an opportunity to know my new beautiful blonde Daughter in law before the young newlyweds departed for their home in Alaska.

Years later I found myself bereft of all that I had taken as oh so granted, and utterly alone. My beloved had died, two of my other children had also relocated far across our vast country.

And another suddenly abandoned me, flying away on wings of total and utter silence.

I sank into a despair that has no description or words to document.

I believed I did everything

Possibly, I did nothing.

I tried, but apparently not hard enough. I made mistakes, and I mourned.

I asked God why and I did not hear or listen to His answer.

I believe now, two decades later, when I look at the lovely handmade purse now attached permanently to a mandatory walker, I finally understand when He took one gift away, He gave me another.

Susan welcomed me into life near her complicated family. She gave me the gift of her three amazing adult children who constantly reach out with visits and emails and phone calls.

She gave me permission to have proximity and inclusion in her own quite complicated lifestyle.

And possibly that is why I have attached the small purse to my walker, to remind me the purse was woven with love, kindness and generosity.

And my second gift knew my pain and opened not just her hearth, but her heart. And I was unaware of the magnitude of her benevolence.

Until she taught me an unforgettable reminder about loving one another.