LI Attorney, Author Regina Calcaterra Honored By Ronald McDonald House

SUFFOLK COUNTY, NY — Regina Calcaterra, an attorney and the New York Times best-selling author of "Etched in Sand," which details a childhood colored by abuse, hunger, and homelessness, has dedicated her adult life to helping children and teens navigate the foster care system. She is a voice, a light in the darkness for young people — a veritable lifeline of hope.

On Wednesday, Calcaterra, who lives in New Suffolk, will be honored by Ronald McDonald House Charities NY Metro for her tireless advocacy for young people — and for her efforts toward a new chapter, helping to shine a light on a new Ronald McDonald House planned for Suffolk County, at the Stony Brook Medicine Campus.

Calcaterra said she was thrilled to be "honored by the prestigious Ronald McDonald House Charities NY Metro as we raise awareness and funds for a much-needed Ronald McDonald House in Suffolk County."

The Fall Celebration, hosted by the Stony Brook Advisory Council, takes place Wednesday from 6:30 p.m. until 10:30 p.m. at Watermill Caterers in Smithtown and is a fundraiser for RMHC NY Metro and the new facility.

Stony Brook Medicine and Ronald McDonald House Charities NY Metro held a groundbreaking event on April 30 for the new house to be built on the Stony Brook campus, which will "provide a safe, secure, and comfortable environment for families of children who are receiving medical care at Stony Brook Children's Hospital."

Touring the first Ronald McDonald House in New Hyde Park in Nassau County — the facility is located adjacent to Cohen Children’s Medical Center — Calcaterra joined Matthew Campo, chief executive officer, Ronald McDonald House Charities New York Metro, who explained how the house is a haven for families during the most uncertain of times. And he said that the Suffolk facility will mirror all the features of the Nassau house, providing the same services and sense of home.

"We're so excited to honor Regina," Campos said. "She has such a tremendous story."

With all services free for families, Ronald McDonald house offers a warm and welcoming great room, a space "where the magic happens," Campo said. "Everyone is going through the same thing together."

The room provides a supportive environment, a place where families facing the unknown, sometimes gripped by fear, can sit, set down their fears and burdens, and share — finding that even in the most terrifying of times, they are not alone. Friendships are born in the great room, among families sharing parallel journeys, Campo said.

The Nassau chapter opened in 1986, he said. In the beginning, there were 18 bedrooms; in 2005, the facility expanded to 42.

"We want to do all that we can for families in the midst of a pediatric medical crisis so that families can focus on what's most important, which is the health and wellbeing of their child. So really we want to provide for all the non-clinical needs. Things like meals, transportation, lodging," he said.

Laundry rooms, showers, play rooms, a wellness center, family activities — pet therapy, arts and crafts, musical ensembles and concerts and holiday events — are all included, he said. Kids are able to choose donated toys in the lobby, and enjoy sports-theme spaces to play.

For Campo, the mission is deeply personal. "I grew up as a sick kid," he said. "We didn't have programs like this for my parents. It's all about parents, about families. If you keep families together in the midst of a pediatric medical crisis, that child heals better. What do you want more, when you're a child in the hospital, than your family nearby?"

The Nassau house, sparkling clean and colorful, underwent a $5.5 million renovation in 2013. New York designers were invited to curate and design specific spaces such as computer and TV rooms, play spaces, and more — designed for age groups spanning small children to teenagers.

"Noora's Closet," created in memory of Noora Aljarn, honors a little girl who traveled to Long Island from the United Arab Emirates for treatment but who sadly died soon after. Noora and her father noticed that, at the time, there weren't many toys at RMH, and so, she started a letter writing campaign to toy companies, to help.

The closet is filled with colorful costumes for children to wear, celebrating Noora's love of dressing like a princess. "Unfortunately, we lost Noora. But we still have costume parties in her honor," Campo said. "She was such a special little girl."

More than 150 volunteers come in every week to help, Campo said; there's a kids' club camp program with story time, music, no-bake baking and other fun activities for the siblings who are staying in the house.

"It's all about family-centered care. If there's a sick child in the family, there's a sick family," Campo said.

The facility also features respite rooms, where families can use the spaces for day use, doing laundry, and meeting other needs. There's a sense of calm, of nurturing, in every room, a place where families can find haven and solace during times when everything else is unfamiliar.

Also onsite, there's a fitness center, dedicated in memory of Katie McBride, "a high-spirited young lady with a great sense o humor and a big heart," her family said. And there's a meditation room, soundproofed with a waterfall, for contemplation and finding inner peace.

"Sometimes you just need a quiet space to rest and unplug from it all," Campo said.

The house, indeed, feels like a home, a far cry from a sterile hospital environment. "One of the things we focus on is making sure our programs have a home-like feel," Campo said. "We want this to be a place where families can have respite."

And, he said, "the heart of every house is a kitchen." The Nassau facility features eight kitchens on one floor and another two that are strictly kosher. Families can cook for themselves every day, fully stocked with groceries and supplies; families each get their own cupboards.

Warm, home-cooked meals are also provided once a day.

Calcaterra noted that meals are prepared by volunteers for families of a wide array of different cultures. "That's extraordinary, to be able to get volunteers from different cultures who understand the importance of food to families."

"What better way to connect with our families than by providing food and nourishment," Campo said.

Bedrooms are inviting, with soft blankets, comfortable chairs, cribs and baskets of toys for children to keep — warm, cozy spaces to gather. Each room was created by designers, with all services and good donated. All the rooms in the tower face the children's hospital on purpose, so parents can always see, "where their child is," Campo said.

There is also a rooftop space at the Nassau facility where families can gather.

Designers will also be invited to design spaces in the new Stony Brook facility.

There is no time limit, on how long families can stay, if their child is hospitalized, Campo said.

Ronald McDonald Houses are fully supported by philanthopy, with a little over $5 million raised per year to support the Nassau facility and two family rooms that currently exist at Stony Brook, Campo said.

The new, Stony Brook house will be a three-story, 60,000-square foot building and will include 30 private bedrooms with ensuite bathrooms for families, a media center, outdoor playground, interactive playrooms, a community kitchen providing free meals made by volunteers and fully stocked pantries, a fitness center, meditation room and laundry facilities.

There's a $30 million fundraising campaign, curently, there is $26.5 million raised. Construction will begin when 80 percent of the goal has been reached, Campo said. "We hope to break ground in the new year," Campo said.

He added that RHM does "operate on a shoestring budget," with volunteers doing much of the work.

Construction documentation with architects for the Stony Brook space is about 90 percent complete, he said; Stony Brook is doing some infrastructure work, clearing the site, he added.

The new Suffolk facility is expected to open the end of 2026 or beginning of 2027, he said.

Calcaterra has dedicated her life to giving back. A founding partner of Calcaterra Law PC law firm, Calcaterra is a known presence in state and local politics; she served as executive director to two of New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo's investigatory commissions, chief deputy to Suffolk County Executive Steven Bellone, and deputy general counsel to both the New York State Insurance Fund and New York City Employees’ Retirement System.

Calcaterra explained how she first became involved with RMHC: "About six years ago, Maryanne Birmingham, the co-proprietor of the restaurant Case's Place in New Suffolk, approached me about putting together an event, Case's for Cases, that would provide duffle bags and suitcases four youth in the child welfare system. Maryanne read in my memoir how my siblings and I would go from place to place with our belongings thrown into garbage bags. The goal was not only to provide our Long Island youth in need of respectable luggage, but also comfort and personal items enclosed. I agreed to support her mission as long as our efforts would be focused on the older youth in foster care or shelters. We then partnered with Birthday Wishes LI to distribute the items. Our efforts were so impactful, that now organizations across Long Island are hosting similar events for our older youth in need."

She added: "Maryanne's son-in-law, Michael Anderer, owns a few McDonald's on Long Island and it was he who nominated me as the 2024 RMH Fall Celebration honoree. Besides fundraising and assisting on raising awareness of the Suffolk RMH, I continue my efforts related to the child welfare system and raising awareness of the plight of foster youth."

The focus always in the forefront of her mind, Calcaterra said, is supplies for the older foster youth.

"When people contribute to foster or shelter kids they donate to the little kids," she said. "No one ever does anything for the teenagers and, since I was in the system as a teen, I knew what it was."

Of being honored at Wednesday's event, Calcaterra said: "I am extraordinarily honored to even be considered as an honoree to such a prestigious internationally known and respected organization as the Ronald McDonald House. There are Ronald McDonald Houses worldwide, so to be considered as an honoree for the new RMH here in Suffolk County, the very place I grew up as a foster and homeless child, and where I live in, is humbling."

The new Suffolk RMH, Calcaterr said, sends a message, "that the Suffolk County community prioritizes supporting children and families in need, especially when they need it the most."

But, she said, fundraising and spreading the word about the new facility is critical. "As the new Ronald McDonald House in Stony Brook works to raise funds and build awareness, I am often reminded that we all know someone who has had an ill child or has a baby in NICU. The latter happened in my extended family about 15 months ago. It was then that my nephew and his wife were able to stay at one of the two RMH rooms available to them at Stony Brook Hospital while their son was treated in the NICU."

A new Ronald McDonald House would provide around 30 families overnight accommodation to families with sick children and would be the first of its kind in Suffolk County, she said.

"But to get there the RMH has to raise $5 million more out of the $30 million fundraising goal and we are actively reaching out locally for support from businesses, individuals, and organizations in and around Suffolk County," Calcaterra added.

There have been moments while visiting the Nassau RMH that have touched Calcaterra deeply.

"While visiting the RMH in Nassau County, the enthusiasm and commitment of all RMH Metro NY employees, volunteers and board members to the families they house was heartfelt and sincere. Then I learned how families not only stayed for weeks and sometimes months, but a family even stayed around 300 days. I could not imagine the challenges that the family's child was facing, let alone their family’s heavy heart. Just learning of the extent that the RMH Metro NY goes to accommodate families, left a mark on my heart. "

The single most important thing RMHC does for the community is to make it possible for families to be close to their children throughout their medical treatment, she said.

"Long Island provides families with amazing access to medical care, but without Ronald McDonald House Charities, there would not be anywhere for families to recharge, sleep, or shower. Consider that a baby born prematurely may need to spend two or more months in NICU. For new parents, that time is critical to care, feed, and bond with the baby. But who takes care of the new parents? Ronald McDonald House does."

It has been rewarding, Calcaterra said, to see the new vision for the Suffolk house take shape. She's also been excited to "facilitate support of the Suffolk RMH, that will help propel its opening and sustainability in the place that I live and love."

Her own childhood shaped Calcaterra's vision of helping all children in seemingly daunting circumstances.

"A community can be defined how we treat our most vulnerable. By ignoring our most vulnerable youth, the cycle of abuse, abandonment, neglect and poverty continues. I was able to break that cycle because of the kind gestures of those along my way. Until I wrote my memoir, those who lifted me up did not know the impact they had upon my life."

Calcaterra added: "My goal is to remind others that a mere act of kindness can make an everlasting impact upon a child. Then all we can hope for is that others will do the same for that child through adulthood. It is critical that our vulnerable youth be cared for and supported — as they are our next generation. The Suffolk RMH will give us the opportunity to do so. "

As a quilt hanging on the wall of the Nassau facility proclaims, in hand-stitched care, Ronald McDonald House is, Campos said, "The House That Love Built."