Riverside Park Goat Unleashes Unprecedented Attack Ad

UPPER WEST SIDE, NY — In the most contentious campaign day so far of the Vote the G.O.A.T. election between the five Riverside Park goats — one of the candidates Ms. Bo Peep — launched an unprecedented attack ad against the two front runners.

The goats, known as the fabulous five, arrived in Riverside Park on July 14 to take on the invasive plants in a section of the green space. They are all candidates vying to be crowned "Riverside Park's 2021 G.O.A.T. in a ceremony on Sept. 9.

In the first two weeks of ranked-choice ballot casting, over 700 votes have been tallied.

Everything changed, though, on Monday, when Ms. Bo Peep launched a smear campaign against Skittles and Chalupa. The negative ad instantly broke an unwritten rule among competitors that "thou shalt not speak ill of another goat."

The negative attack ad by Ms. Bo Peep against front runners Skittles & Chalupa broke an unwritten rule among goats that “thou shalt not speak ill of another goat,” and will likely shake up public perception of the candidates. pic.twitter.com/MTKoX5uDEW
— Riverside Park Conservancy (@RiversideParkNY) August 9, 2021

Shockingly, the ad accuses Skittles and Chalupa of being in the pocket of Big Pesticide and purposefully ignoring their weed clearing duties.

"We are deeply troubled to see this campaign take such an unfortunate turn," said Dan Garodnick, President & CEO of Riverside Park Conservancy, in a news release. "We encourage a healthy competition among the goats, but we do not condone this level of negative campaigning."

For any reader who might have forgotten the name of the five goats and their corresponding party affiliations, here's a reminder.

• Skittles -- Eat Your Greens Party
• Ms. Bo Peep -- Hill Climbers for a Better New York
• Buckles -- Weed Whackers United
• Chalupa -- Grand Old Goat Party
• Mallomar -- Better Future for our KIDS Party

You can cast your own vote at Riversideparknyc.org/ranked-choice-goat.