A Young Widow’s Lasting Tribune to Her Husband

By Rachel M. Anderson, Contributing Writer

When you say, ‘I do,” you pledge to stand by your husband or wife for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health for all the days of your lives. For Rebecca DiTore, 32, who lives north of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, marriage lasted just six years.

Her best friend and husband, Mike DiTore, died of brain cancer on September 13, 2022, just three days after the couple’s 6th wedding anniversary. He was 30 years old.

Mike and Rebecca’s boys, Dante and Dominic, were just one and three when they lost their dad, but thanks to their mother he is still very present in their lives. “We talk about Mike all the time. We have daddy books and I page through pictures of him each night.

“We look at pictures on the phone and videos,” said Rebecca, who added that it’s hard to decipher what they actually remember versus what they see in pictures and recall. “They were just so young,” she said.

The story of Mike’s life and death will also be a part of many other people’s lives thanks to the book his widow wrote in his memory. "I’d Still Choose You: A young widow’s journey of unconditional love, deep grief and life after loss" officially released on May 7, 2024, just in time for Brain Cancer Awareness Month.

The story begins with a letter to readers in which Rebecca shares her motivation for writing the book—to help her readers feel validated in their own grief, and to help her deal with her own. “It has been incredibly therapeutic for me to share what we went through,” said Rebecca.

The author shares how she and Mike met— in an 8th grade math class—and how their
relationship developed. She then goes into detail about what led to Mike’s diagnosis of brain cancer, and how her friends and family helped the young couple and their two young boys cope as they struggled with the effects of the illness, and the aftermath of Mike’s death.

Throughout the book, Rebecca offers plenty of advice to families dealing with the death of a loved one. Whether they’ve lost a parent or sibling, she strongly recommends parents go to the effort of keeping traditions alive for their kids.

“Mike started going hunting with his dad, uncles and cousins when he was 13. I plan to give my boys the opportunity to join them when they turn 13,” she said. Rebecca also plans to honor Mike’s birthday with her boys on January 25th every year by spending time with Mike’s parents and making cashew pie, which was Mike’s favorite desert.

The book ends with the author sharing the critical steps she took that have aided in her healing journey, including engaging in self-care, connecting with others, giving herself time to grieve and asking for help.

Early reviews for the book call it a much-needed resource for anyone who is struggling with grief. “In Rebecca’s debut book, a memoir about the love, life, and loss of her husband, she takes her readers on a heartbreaking yet inspiring journey. She gifts her readers the raw pain and the unfiltered beauty. Written as not just the telling of her circumstances, but as a gentle guide to assist those in similar situations, Rebecca offers suggestions and helpful hints along the way,” said Lisa N. Paul, Amazon bestselling author.

“Rebecca’s story and her ability to tell it in such a brave and honest way, makes this book a must read for anyone experiencing grief….I found Rebecca’s words to be raw and heartbreaking, funny and validating, relatable and hopeful, uplifting and inspiring. Her words will be a gift to anyone experiencing grief, whether recent or lifelong, giving guidance and permission to open your heart, without guilt, so that you can live a fulfilling and joyful life,” said Mary Ellen Fitzgerald, bereaved sister and Executive Director of the Breathing Room Foundation.

“In this beautifully honest memoir, Rebecca demonstrates the power of holding out faith that there is a light to be found at the end of any dark tunnel. She exemplifies resilience and love in the face of the unimaginable and demonstrates that no matter what life throws at you there still can be meaning to be found and a beautiful life to be lived,” said Whitney Lyn Allen, author of “Running in Trauma Stilettos” and certified grief educator.

"'I’d Still Choose You' is a book that reaches your very core. Rebecca shares her heartbreaking journey as a young woman and mother going through an unbelievable time. As I read this book, going through my own family’s struggle with losing my spouse, I actually felt like the book was written for me. Rebecca’s words validated my anticipatory grieving and left me feeling like I was no longer alone. This is a must-read book if you have or are going through severe grief of a loved one. There’s joy in the stories of her children yet heartache in her grief but in the end, you will truly feel like you are not alone," said Jill Weller, middle school secretary and widow.

For more information, go to Rebeccaditore.com

About the Author

Rebecca DiTore, 32, who lives north of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, is the founder of The Michael L. DiTore Small Moments Foundation. The support she and her children received after their loss inspired her to start up the nonprofit, which is dedicated to providing children with small moments of joy through experiences that allow them a short mental break from the challenges of losing a parent or sibling to cancer.

“It’s often the small moments that carry us through our ugliest chapters in life. Our goal is to ensure grieving children have time to smile, laugh and just be a kid,” said DiTore.

Rebecca is also a grant writer for The Breathing Room Foundation, a nonprofit
that supports families affected by cancer. Rebecca DiTore earned her Master of Public Health degree from Drexel University and spent the first bit of her career working in the health and wellness industry until her very mission became spreading hope to fellow grievers and creating joy for families impacted by cancer.

Her sons, Dante and Dominic are five and three years old. The family makes their home in a small community north of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

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