Just One More Story, Mom?

It is a nightly routine in our house. It is inevitable. And yet, after three years of the exact same series of events happening each and every night at our house, I am unsure why my daughter has not caught on. Bedtime is coming.

She doesn’t like it; in fact, she hates it.

I could count on one hand how many times the child has gone to bed peacefully, without argument. Each rare occurrence was caused by wearing every last ounce of energy right out of her tiny body with daylong activities like trekking through an amusement park or swimming. She’d never, by choice, just go along quietly to bed.

I’ve also never, in three years, heard words coming from her mouth that sounded like “I’m tired” or “Yes, I’m ready to go to bed now.” I doubt I ever will.

My daughter, go figure, is stubborn. She knows what she wants, and she isn’t afraid to tell you all about it. She rationalizes any desire to make total sense (at least to her), and once she makes up her mind about what she wants, she doesn’t give up. (Lots of folks that know me are rolling their eyes right now, collectively sighing that she is an exact carbon copy of her mother. I get it; I’m paying my dues now.)

Regardless, since I cannot change her genetics, I do try to find routines and tips to help her get to sleep more easily. Alora, however, has mastered the art of distraction.

Her usual first attempts are to negotiate with you.

“Can I have a glass of juice?” she’ll usually start with each night. Followed by “Can you read me a story?” or “Can you sing me a song?” Other favorites include “Can you sleep with me, just for one minute?” or “Can I get up for just one more minute?”

She’s done the usual suspects, like trying to go potty, saying she’s sick, she is scared, or it is too dark in her room. These days, to prevent half of those, we just go ahead and leave all of her lights on all night. She’s slept like that for months now.

If you don't respond (seems like the easy answer, right), she screams her head off. She will yell, cry and squeal until someone comes in. We've let her go off a few times, to see how long it really takes, and besides the fact that NO ONE else can sleep in the house, she has lasted up to three hours straight.

We pretend that air-freshening spray is a force field that keeps monsters out. We have bracelets to prevent bad dreams. We’ve tried just about any prevention method in response to her typical defenses.

Some nights, she gives up after a few tries. Sometimes, she screams and cries and yells for hours. Sometimes she stays up, but quietly reads to her dolls or sings songs to herself until she passes out.

No matter how you twist it, this kid does not want to go to bed. We usually try to be tough. We do her nightly rituals and tuck her in. We make sure she’s had a bath, and story, gone to the potty and had a drink. She gets a song, and the lights are on, and a spraying is done and bracelets are worn, but that seldom lets us off the hook.

I’ve seen television shows, talked to other mom friends, and even read books and online advice and tips on the matter, but my daughter seems not to care about our education on parenting. She finds ways to defeat each attempt to lighten the bedtime stress.

To be honest, it is not a perfect science. Unfortunately, like most everything else when it comes to being a mom, there is no easy answer for this one. We’ll have to just ride out a few tough years of bedtime aggravation, or keep trying our so far failed attempts to fix it.

For now, I’ll be thankful that my son is such an angel at bedtime. He goes to bed exactly on time, no matter what is going on around him. He’ll tell you he is tired, and he’s a heavy sleeper. He’s slept through the night since he was 3 months old.

We joke that if Alora had been our first, she’d have been our only kid. In the meantime, I am open to the bedtime routines that have worked in your house. Please, share them here! I’d love to hear your advice!