Blotto Blotter From Nashville's Intoxicating CMA Fest Weekend

NASHVILLE, TN -- The annual CMA Fest draws tens of thousands of people to the Music City to enjoy concerts from their favorite country stars and a not insignificant number of those folks take to the honky tonks on Lower Broadway before and after the shows to imbibe in one or two...or several alcoholic delights.

Most of those people end up with fun stories of their time in Nashville, but some leave instead having met one of Nashville's Finest and a souvenir in the form of a court date.

Metro Police said 50 people were arrested during CMA Fest this year, mostly for (predictably) public intoxication or underage drinking. Here's a look at some of the more interesting intoxicated arrests from the four-day CMA Fest period, many of which took place at the event itself, some of which were connected thereto and some were just standard-fare weekend alcohol-influenced mischief. Names have been withheld to protect the hungover.

(For more updates on this story and free news alerts for your neighborhood, sign up for your local Middle Tennessee Patch morning newsletter.)

Wait. A Nashvillian was inside Honky Tonk Central? - A 53-year-old Nashville man became quite "unruly" inside Honky Tonk Central at 4th and Broadway, bar employees told police. So unruly, in fact, he was kicked out (exactly how rowdy does one have to get to get kicked out of Honky Tonk Central?) and allegedly slapped the manager for good measure. Once on the sidewalk, he continued yelling and cursing at patrons and employees alike. Once police arrived, he made a valiant, if ultimately unsuccessful, effort at running away, but made the critical error of pushing a policeman while doing so, according to the affidavit. The man is charged with public intoxication, disorderly conduct and assault of an officer; the bar manager did not press charges for the slap.

So, bro? Passed out at the SoBro?: A 37-year-old Nashville man passed out in the parking lot and then the front lobby of the SoBro condos downtown, witnesses told police. When officers tried to wake him, he was (surprise!) smelling of alcohol and uneasy on his feet. Then he tried to punch the police, according to an affidavit. He is charged with public intoxication, assault of an officer and resisting arrest.

Sir, this is a Cracker Barrel - Fun fact: A Cracker Barrel restaurant will prepare any food a customer orders, regardless of its presence on the menu provided it has the ingredients on hand; the example reps for the Lebanon-based company always use is that of a turnip greens milkshake, although, say, a baked apple milkshake sounds a lot tastier. And everyone knows the country store has plenty of tchotchkes available, as well. One thing Cracker Barrel doesn't provide is sleeping quarters, as a 52-year-old West Los Angeles man learned early Thursday. Police found the man asleep on a bench outside the Music Valley Drive Cracker Barrel. Police say the man initially refused to identify himself and tried to walk away and resist until he was told he'd be tased. He is charged with public intoxication and resisting arrest.

You can't park your car here: A 35-year-old taxi driver from Hendersonville was very insistent on picking up his fare at Nissan Stadium Friday, according to police. The cabbie stopped on the ramp from Interstate 24 to Shelby and asked officers where he needed to go, according to an arrest report. An officer, whose primary task was helping to get pedestrians across the roadway as they came to and fro the concert at the stadium, directed the driver to the intersection of Shelby and Fifth, but the cabbie refused to move. Eventually, another should-have-been-directing-traffic policeman joined, but no amount of debate was going to budge the cab driver, according to an affidavit. He was arrested for disorderly conduct (he wasn't intoxicated, for what it's worth).

You can't park your car here, part II: A 31-year-old Clarksville woman was very mad about her car getting towed. Allegedly. Metro Police said the woman was yelling at a tow truck driver who'd already hooked up her illegally parked car. Among other things, according to a police report, she yelled "I'll shoot your a--, m-----f-----." Though, at first, the MNPD officers were trying to explain to the woman that it was likely she could work something out with the driver before he towed her car - the old "drop fee" plan - apparently the threat of being shot put the tow truck driver off that idea and he said he was going to tow the car. The woman allegedly outran the driver to his cab, where she grabbed the keys and yelled "F--- you!". Once in custody, she reportedly kicked the police car numerous times, though the officers wrote she eventually calmed down. She's charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

That's a water fountain, not a bathroom: A 23-year-old Nashville man just couldn't hold it anymore. Employees at the Lentz Public Health Center told police that the man urinated in a drinking fountain, which, for the record, was right next to a bathroom. The past tense is appropriate because the drinking fountain has to be replaced, according to an affidavit, because the man "used it as a toilet." Perhaps unsurprisingly, the man's eye were "bloodshot red" and his speech "very slurred." He was charged with public indecency, public intoxication and vandalism under $1,000 (for fouling the water fountain).

Not knocking the hustle, but you should know it's illegal to sell beer illegally, especially if it's illegal for you to have beer: Peddling beer on the streets seemed to be a hot new trend at this year's CMA Fest. Hawking bottles of water from coolers to festival attendees is a time-honored tradition, but the vendors started offering something a little stronger. One such vendor tried to run from police and got an assault and attempted robbery charge for his trouble. Illegal though it may be, trying to undercut the festival's booze prices isn't a bad piece of business. It's probably wise to wait for your 21st birthday to do so to keep any potential charges to a minimum. A 20-year-old from Atlanta tried to run from police when they attempted to ask for his vending license, according to an arrest report. Unfortunately, he was on the pedestrian bridge, so his escape options were limited. Even more unfortunately, he isn't old enough to have beer in the first place. He is charged with underage possession of alcohol and evading arrest. Another 20-year-old Atlantan is charged with underage possession after he was found allegedly selling beer next to Joe's Crab Shack. He reportedly told officers "I ain't selling no beer," but he had some Bud Lights underneath the water in his cooler.

Don't get drunk and lost at a stadium, especially if you're underage: A 20-year-old Franklin woman and an 18-year-old Nashville man got busted for underage consumption in eerily similar, though unconnected circumstances, when police noticed them wandering around the 300-level of Nissan Stadium looking for their seats. Both admitted to being drunk, according to their arrest reports.

Rowdy at the Cascades: Opryland Hotel security decided that a 39-year-old Port Jefferson, N.Y. man was getting "too rowdy" in the hotel lobby so they tried to take him back to his room, but, they told police, once in the elevator, the Long Islander put a security guard into a chokehold. The man allegedly admitted he had indeed been "getting rowdy" and that he "drank way too much tonight." He is charged with assault, disorderly conduct and public intoxication.

"Planking": Metro Police arrived at a Buchanan Street bus stop to find a 42-year-old Nashville man who said he was "just dancing." Witnesses at two nearby businesses, however, told the officers that the man's moves consisted of standing in the middle of the road with a piece of lumber and swinging it at passing cars. The arresting officer said the man showed all the classic indicators of intoxication. He is charged with public intoxication and disorderly conduct.

Always cap off the arrest with a public safety message: A 54-year-old Antioch man offered a passerby some good advice. "Don't drink and boat!" he allegedly yelled as he was being taken land-side at Percy Priest after his own arrest for boating under the influence, violation of the implied consent law and reckless or negligent operation of a boat. The man allegedly admitted to drinking "all day" and having consumed "at least six" Bud Lights. He also had quite a time donning his life jacket, the officer said.

The ol' double dozen: A 49-year-old Nashville man allegedly told the Metro police officer who stopped him that he'd downed 12 beers and 12 shots while drinking at an Antioch bar Saturday night. The man, shockingly, blew a .26, more than three times the legal limit for driving, according to his arrest report. He also allegedly hit a parked car in the bar parking lot and downed an NES pole and his landlord's (maybe former landlord, now) fence. He is charged with second offense DUI, striking an unattended vehicle, failure to comply with commands and leaving the scene of an accident.

You have to pay for those: A 29-year-old Nashville man drank seven beers inside the beer cooler at a Highway 70 convenience store, according to police, and when the store manager reminded him he had to pay for them, he pushed her and ran. He is charged with theft, assault and public intoxication.

Picking for a fight: A Metro Police officer tried to stop a fight, but one of the men involved was bound and determined to scuffle with someone. The officer spotted a 21-year-old Ft. Campbell man trying to engage another festival-goer in a "confrontation." The officer intervened and the 21-year-old "stood in a fighting stance" and attempted to spit on people. He "flailed" during the hand-cuffing process and continued spitting inside the patrol car. He is charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, public intoxication and assault of an officer.

You're all turned around, my man: A 61-year-old Nashville man allegedly ran off the road at Vultee and Briley Parkway near the airport and drove away. Once police found him - after responding to an apparently unconnected alarm - at Mt. Zion Baptist in Madison, he said he thought he was at Bell Road in Hermitage and that he was trying to get home to West Nashville after the Vultee crash, though he'd driven east rather than west. In any event, after officers allegedly found hydrocodone, gabapentin and meloxicam in his car, he was arrested for DUI.

Image via Shutterstock