Does Turning On Holiday Lights Early Make You A Bad Neighbor? Block Talk

On Thanksgiving night, East Brunswick (New Jersey) Patch reader Mav and her family will flip the switch on their Christmas lights, just as they have for years.

“After having dinner with the family, our kids would be excited for the car ride home to see our house all lit up for Christmas,” Mav said. “It was the Santa kick off!”

Mav’s family tradition is a long-held custom in many neighborhoods, although not all individuals observe it. We asked readers for Block Talk, Patch’s exclusive neighborhood etiquette column, when it’s too early to put up Christmas lights.

While Mav prefers to wait until Thanksgiving night, she doesn’t judge what others do.

“With everybody’s crazy busy schedules today, put your lights up as you wish!” she said. “It’s more important to decorate a neighborhood for the holiday season and bring joy rather than criticize!”

‘Why Ignore Quintessential American Holiday?’

“After Thanksgiving. Full stop. Why ignore a quintessentially American holiday?” said Bernards (New Jersey) Patch reader Susan. “I think decorating too early removes the specialness of the winter holidays and makes it more about competition with neighbors rather than celebrating the traditions, no matter what you celebrate.”

Bowie (Maryland) Patch reader Lucille thinks the focus should be on Thanksgiving for as long as possible, and lights shouldn’t be turned on until the following day.

“Since Thanksgiving represents ‘thanks’ and ‘giving’ of the harvest one has been blessed with, this year more than ever before in my life, we should magnify Thanksgiving all over the world,” Lucille said.

“Turning them on earlier dilutes the celebration of Thanksgiving,” said Mary Ann, a Huntington (New York) Patch reader. “October, November and December become a mishmash of holiday decorations!”

“By celebrating Christmas before Thanksgiving, it disrespects the holiday,” said Waukesha (Wisconsin) Patch reader Kari.

She acknowledged the complicated history of Thanksgiving, a harvest feast in 1621 involving the Wampanoag people and English colonists that is now a time of reflection for many Native Americans, who observe it as a national day of mourning.

“While the historic meaning of the holiday may be misguided, the basic intent has merit, and bypassing the holiday confuses children and detracts from celebrating our thankfulness for what we have beyond material goods,” she said.

Therefore, Kari thinks Christmas lights should be dark until the day after Thanksgiving.

“Our family likes to enjoy one holiday at a time,” said Mrs. R, a Peekskill-Cortlandt (New York) Patch reader who thinks Christmas lights should be lit anytime after Thanksgiving. She thinks lights should stay on until “little Christmas,” the common name for the Feast of the Epiphany on Jan. 6, which commemorates the visit of the Three Wise Men to the baby Jesus and marks the end of the 12 days of Christmas.

“Having too much Christmas so early creates boredom by the time the holiday is here, plus we enjoy seeing family and friends from Christmas to New Year’s to Little Christmas. So, we think the lights should stay on till then.”

Concord (New Hampshire) Patch reader T offered this: “Everyone is different and does things differently. Decorating early doesn’t mean Thanksgiving is canceled.”

Let Halloween Pass First

With nightfall coming earlier with the end of daylight saving time, Minnesota Patch reader Melon welcomes the lights.

“I don’t mind if they come on after the time change,” Melon said. “It gets dark early, and the lights are usually pretty.

“I do prefer no more lights after January 1st,” Melon continued. “By then, I am burnt out on all things Christmas.”

Kathleen, a San Rafael (California) Patch reader, thinks it’s OK to start celebrating with holiday lights after Halloween, but thinks they should be kept simple, “maybe just lights and subtle winter decor,” during November.

But, she allowed, “Christmastime is so personal and has so many memories and good feelings, so if it brightens someone’s mood, by all means enjoy those great decorations early.”

“Bringing smiles and goodwill to others is such a gift!” she continued. “Happy decorating!”

“If the weather is good, and you have the help needed to get the job done, I say put them up whenever you want to! And turn them on! I do think waiting until after Halloween is logical,” said Hinsdale-Clarendon Hills (Illinois) Patch reader Dee.

The page on the November calendar had barely turned when Dee saw “Christmas lights blazing and an inflatable turkey on the lawn at the same house.”

“Why not?” Dee continued. “Festive is cheery!”

Synchronizing 30 Songs Takes Time

Several readers said they take advantage of warm fall days to put up their Christmas displays, and that more elaborate setups require additional time.

“I decorate for three weeks prior because we display a lot of lights, and they are synchronized to around 30 songs,” said Brick (New Jersey) Patch reader Brian. “Setting up takes time and planning.”

He waits until Thanksgiving night for the reveal, though.

“Our tradition: Living in the Northeast, we put our Christmas lights up on a warmer day but don’t turn them on until after Santa arrives at the end of the Macy Day parade,” said Nashua (New Hampshire) Patch reader BT. “For us, this starts the Christmas season.”

“I always waited until Thanksgiving weekend to put up Christmas decorations,” West Chester (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Merry said. “But every year it takes longer and the Christmas season gets shorter. So this year, I’m already putting decorations up, especially exterior setups, and I’ll turn them on mid-November.”

Rancho Santa Margarita (California) Patch reader Sue understands that set up takes time to set up displays but implores her neighbors not to turn them on until the day after Thanksgiving “at the earliest.”

“Thanksgiving is a very special and important holiday and should not be overshadowed by Christmas decorations,” Sue said.

‘We Need All The Cheer We Can Get’

Levittown (New York) Patch reader Bill said there is no “right time” to turn on lights, though he personally waits until the day after Thanksgiving.

“Whatever makes people happy — it’s their home,” he said, adding, “Why does anyone care about someone turning on lights? They give character before a long dark winter.”

“Whatever makes you happy is the time to turn on the lights,” Sarasota (Florida) Patch reader Captain agreed.

“Whenever you want!” New Berlin (Wisconsin) Patch reader Diane added. “I believe we need more happiness and smiles in today’s world.

“Halloween decorations and Christmas decorations can absolutely follow one another. Just look at the smiles on little ones’ faces when they see Christmas lights on. That is what it’s all about.”

“This year, anytime (is the right time). We need all the light we can get!” said Bedford-Katonah (New York) Patch reader A. “Christmas lights are joyful and bring warmth, something we all need more of right now.”

“Mid-November is fine this year,” said Massachusetts Patch reader Lindy. “We need all the cheer we can get.”

‘Why All The Crybabies?’

Huntington Beach (California) Patch reader Mary Lou doesn’t think she has the right to dictate when her neighbors decorate.

“As a neighbor, you don’t know what plans your neighbors have. For example, someone could be dying of cancer and their dying wish is to have their light shine brightly in the neighborhood,” she said. “My opinion is, ‘Don’t legislate what others are doing.’ It is really nobody else’s business.

“If it really bothers you, knock on your neighbor’s door and very kindly have a meaningful conversation with them,” Mary Lou continued. “Maybe there is a way for you to be a kind neighbor and be helpful rather than being critical or judgmental. ‘Love thy neighbor.’ Always look for the good in people, especially your neighbors.”

“It’s really up to the homeowner,” said Basking Ridge (New Jersey) Patch reader Alan. “The Christmas lights are beautiful, so live your life and enjoy what you like. You’re not hurting anyone.”

Peabody (Massachusetts) Patch reader Dian supports Christmas lights year-round.

“It’s a free country,” she said. “Everyone has the right to put up their own decorations. The more, the merrier. We can all learn from each other’s cultures and customs.”

“Life is short and challenging,” said Stacey, a Sterling (Virginia) Patch reader. “There is no wrong time for a joyous display of lights, in my opinion, although I do think for especially blatantly religious displays, waiting until the previous holiday has passed is in better taste, socially.”

For many people, “lights bring joy, and so many of us are lonely and/or depressed,” Stacey said. “Maybe let’s live and let live?”

“November 1st is fine. I love it, kids love it. It is nice to go and enjoy before the cold sets in,” said Ladidi10, who reads Laguna Beach (California) Patch, Orange County (California) Patch and Across America Patch.

“Why all the crybabies,” the reader continued. “It gets people out and about in the neighborhood, and that is usually a good thing. Fun for the kids and adults who enjoy life.”

‘Ditch The Grinch’

Whenever people choose to reveal their Christmas displays to neighbors, keep them classy, several readers said.

A Fairfield (Connecticut) Patch who goes by ‘No Christmas Creep” is all for waiting until Thanksgiving is over and also thinks less is more when it comes to displays.

“Most people get the Friday off, and you have family around,” said No Christmas Creep, who harbors “great memories of the family decorating together and then having cocoa.

“Turning your house into a department store-like display is also very tacky,” the reader continued. “What happened to multicolored lights?”

“Cluttered displays are not preferred over beautiful artistic displays,” said Troy (Michigan) Patch reader Carolyn.

“Decorations/lights don’t have to be cluttered and/or ‘over the top,’ as you sometimes see in some yards,” said Oak Park-River Forest (Illinois) Patch reader Lo. “It’s not always the best way to go — or the best look.”

Ang, a Tarrytown-Sleepy Hollow (New York) Patch reader, isn’t quite sure what to think about a business display that mixes Halloween skeletons with Christmas lights.

“It actually looks pretty funny, but really?” Ang questioned. “In addition, the lights they put along the top of the building are on all night and shine in the apartments across the street.”

She added, “I know, because I live there.”

“Turn the lights off after midnight; there’s too much residential light pollution as it is,” said Southington (Connecticut) Patch reader Dottie M. “And please turn off loud music at a reasonable hour Nobody wants to hear ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas’ over and over after 10 p.m.”

New Jersey Patch reader Donna prefers her neighbors wait until Dec. 1 to turn the lights on their displays.

“A month is more than enough,” she said, adding, “Most decorations are over-done and tacky.”

San Leandro (California) Patch reader Nancy is less generous. She favors holding off until two weeks before Christmas to bring on the shine.

“I think people overdo it,” she said.

And if she could offer a suggestion, it would be this, “They should have peace signs and ‘Peace on Earth’ signs. Ditch The Grinch!”

‘Joy To All’

Try to remember that Christmas is the season for peace and goodwill toward others, some readers said.

In general, Plymouth (Massachusetts) Patch reader Abbey thinks people too often “feel pressured by the advertising industry” to put up elaborate displays, but she said, “Please try to be cool about your neighbors and their enormous inflatable trademarked characters.”

“Keep it in the forefront of your mind that it’s for kids and broadly not about you, and this goes for the display makers as well,” Abbey said.

She added, “Joy to all.”

When do you think Christmas and other holiday lights should be turned on? Join the conversation below.

About Block Talk

Block Talk is an exclusive Patch series on neighborhood etiquette — and readers provide the answers. If you have a topic you'd like for us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com with “Block Talk” as the subject line.

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