What’s The Etiquette Of Sharing Holiday Leftovers? Block Talk

The host of a Thanksgiving feast was put off when the guests scooped all the leftovers into to-go containers they had brought from home, leaving nothing behind for the host’s family to enjoy.

“Next time, how do I let them know politely that we would like some leftovers?” the host wondered in a social media post.

Etiquette guidelines have shifted from a strict, unspoken understanding that leftovers remain with the hosts unless they choose to share. It was a fair enough deal. After all, the hosts of this lavish spread had gone to considerable effort to prepare it. And in your grandmother's or great-grandmother’s day and for generations before, it was verboten to expect guests to help with the cleanup, so sharing leftovers was not considered a reciprocity for their assist.

Guidance is more flexible as holiday meals have loosened from formal sit-down affairs to buffets, potlucks, and staggered seating, yet falls short of sanctioning an all-out food fight for uneaten main dishes, sides, and desserts.

Etiquette experts generally agree that while offering leftovers to guests is generous, hosts are not obligated to share them. Experts are more divided on whether guests should take home uneaten portions of dishes they contributed to the meal.

Some advise that guests should leave behind portions that were transferred to the host’s serving dishes, but can take home whatever remains in their own containers. Others suggest that leaving items like leftover pies or unopened bottles of wine for the hosts is a thoughtful gesture.

What do you think? We’re asking for Block Talk, Patch’s exclusive neighborhood etiquette column.

Is it rude for guests to bring their own to-go containers so they can take home leftovers?

How do hosts politely let their guests know they have plans for the leftovers without turning it into a whole big thing that hangs over the gathering like a storm cloud?

If you brought several bottles of wine to be served with dinner, is it OK to take unopened bottles home?

If it’s a potluck where everyone contributed something to the meal, who gets the leftovers? Are they shared among guests, or do they remain with the hosts?

Just fill out the informal survey below. As always, we don’t collect email addresses.

About Block Talk

Block Talk is a regular Patch feature offering real-world advice from readers on how to resolve everyday neighborhood problems. If you have a neighborhood etiquette question or problem you'd like for us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com, with Block Talk as the subject line.

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