Moms Chat: Starting Healthy Relationships Early

February is Teen Dating Violence and Awareness month. Often parents prefer to postpone talking with their kids about  dating as long as possible.

The CDC data shows that 72% of 8th and 9th graders reportedly “date”. “Hanging out”, opposite genders at birthday parties, community center dances, crushes, Facebook, email, etc. can all be forms of early dating. Portrayals of dating relationships appear more and more frequently in the various types of media children this age consume. Many of these portrayals are of unhealthy or unrealistic relationships.

Sadly, 1 in 4 teens  report verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse from a dating partner each year . About 10% of students nationwide report being physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend in the past 12 months.
 
Even children in the early elementary and preschool years can benefit from talking about how to be a good friend and what to do if they have a friendship that often leaves them feeling frustrated or unhappy. The type of relationships a child forms with friends of both sexes early on can set the stage for the types of friendships and dating relationships they will form as an older teenage and adult.

If we begin talking with our kids about the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships before they start dating , they can make healthier, safer choices when the time comes. There are many good online resources for parents to learn more:loveisrespect.org , thatsnotcool.com , breakthecycle.org are just a few.

McLean Patch Mom, Alison Senold, is a volunteer at Doorways for Women and Families. She recommends the Doorways for anyone wanting to learn more about the issues of teen dating violence or domestic violence.

The McLean Patch Mom’s are raising girls and boys that range in age from preschool to high school. Today ,two MPM’s share how they talk with their children about healthy relationships.

Anne  Wydler, is mother of 7 and 5-year-old girls

Our girls are too young to really discuss or understand romantic relationships but even at this age, they understand healthy relationships and human interactions. 

I credit our preschool teachers with setting our whole family on the right path and giving us some helpful tools.  We learned from them how important it is to teach our daughters not be the victims.  We have seen the girls stand up for themselves in uncomfortable situations and say “I don’t like it when you act that way” or “I feel frustrated when you speak to me that way”.  Those are empowering words when you are 5 and they can be equally empowering when you are 16.  Our goal is to continue to give them the self-confidence to stand up for themselves and to know they have a choice in any situation.

We use stories of classroom situations to discuss friendship.  The tales of their school days and interactions between classmates are the ideal way to discuss empathy, respect, loyalty - easy, everyday conversations that build a foundation of trust and provide a framework for future, more complicated discussions.