5 Tips for Sandwich Caregivers on How to Balance Children and Parents

For many families, late summer ushers in the annual ritual known as “back to school.” Dreaded by kids and celebrated by parents, the return to school marks a time of transition to more rigid schedules after a few months of fun and flexibility.

But for sandwich generation caregivers – those who are raising a family while caring for a parent – the new school calendar and all the activities associated with it can add to an already hectic schedule.

National surveys have found that there are approximately 11 million sandwich generation caregivers, with approximately 2.2 million caring for someone with Alzheimer’s. And, the number of sandwich generation caregivers is expected to grow as Baby Boomers increasingly move into retirement age and live longer lives.

Because the toll of Alzheimer’s weighs heavily on caregivers who are also raising a family, finding a balance can require major sacrifices. Of the more than 11 million unpaid Alzheimer’s caregivers in the United States, with 354,000 here in Virginia, about one-third report their health has suffered due to caregiving, and over half report tardiness or absences at work. To compensate, caregivers often have to leave their jobs or ask children to take on extra responsibilities.

Despite its many challenges, it is possible for sandwich generation caregivers to manage their responsibilities effectively while maintaining their overall health and well-being. The Alzheimer’s Association offers these tips:

• Take Care of Yourself – It can be easy to neglect your health while caring for others, but making sure you are healthy can help you be a better caregiver to others. Try to eat well, exercise and get plenty of rest. Carving out just 30 minutes a day for yourself to do something you enjoy (exercise, reading or watching TV) can go a long way to reducing caregiver stress. The Alzheimer’s Association offers these specific tips for recognizing and relieving caregiver stress.

• Maintain Good Communication – A major stressor for sandwich generation caregivers is feelings of guilt when caregiving tasks detract from time spent with family. Help your spouse/partner and children understand the demands you’re facing and enlist their help and support. A 2017 Alzheimer’s Association survey found that 91 percent of Americans believe it “takes a village” to care for a person living with Alzheimer’s, but many caregivers fail to ask for help.

• Seek Support – Contact the Alzheimer’s Association or use our online Community Resource Finder to locate dementia care resources in your area. Adult day programs, in-home assistance, companions and meal delivery are just some of the services that can help you manage daily tasks. Visit the Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregiver Center to learn more and access care training resources, including free online workshops.

• Talk to Your Employer – A 2015 AARP report found that 53 percent of employed caregivers indicate their employers offered flexible work schedules. Some companies allow telecommuting. Discuss potential accommodations that can be made that will allow you to remain productive at work while balancing caregiver responsibilities at home.

• Know You’re Doing Your Best – Remember that the care you provide makes a difference and that you are doing the best you can. You may feel guilty because you can’t do more, but you are only one person. Identify priorities and focus on those tasks most essential. Delegate lesser responsibilities to others. For support and encouragement, join ALZConnected, our online caregiver community.

“Caregiving, particularly when you are caring for a loved one with dementia and children at home, can be overwhelming,” said Douglas Panto, Program Manager for the Alzheimer’s Association Southeastern Virginia. “It is important to know that high levels of stress can be harmful to all family members. But, there is support and resources that can help family members navigate through the journey including an Evening Millennial Support Group that meets virtually/online on the 2nd and last Thursdays of each month at 7:00 p.m.”

To learn more about Alzheimer’s disease and other dementia and find local support services and resources, visit alz.org/seva.