Swannee Rivers Learns Life Lessons From Dad's Age With Grace Example

As a young girl, I was proud to say that I always had a close, and honest relationship with my father, Zackery Bouey. His calm demeanor put me at ease no matter what the situation, and continues to do so even now. In my eyes he was a hero, but more importantly a life long mentor. As the years progress, and at times when you step back and realize your parents are aging, it can sometimes feel overwhelming, frightening, and unbelievable-despite knowing this is part of the life cycle. I am appreciative of the numerous lessons gathered along the way, but will feel forever grateful that he has demonstrated one important one that I can carry forever. What it means, and looks like to age gracefully.

COVID 19 may have made it feel as if things were stagnant, but the aging process continued for all. The "baby boomer," generation is now placed in a position of taking the lead, and responsibility of their elderly parents. Often this can be extremely challenging as you navigate your own life along the way. My father made the process easier by living his life in the three A mode from the time I was a youngster until now. What's that? Three simple words he implemented in to his life daily, and more importantly in to his behavior. Doing this removed a tremendous amount of pressure off of me.

3 A Mode:

Aloud- When you realize that you can no longer do some of the things you used to do, there comes a time you must state it. Some individuals may be in denial, but until you say it aloud things do not change. I was given an opportunity to see what it was like to recognize this, vocalize it and learn new ways of accomplishing particular tasks. While sometimes difficult it did not have to represent negativity. Always attempt to seek the positivity in a situation.

Accept-This is part of the life cycle, and often that means that your children will come to the forefront and take over the leadership role in some activities that used to bring so much joy in to your life. That joy can still be received, but may arrive in a new way. Learn to appreciate and experience new excitement. Find the new joy that may be awaiting your acceptance.

Acknowledge-Role reversal in full effect can be awkward, and intimidating. You are not used to this, but here you are. When that time comes do what you can to make the transition as easy for each other as possible. Adjustments can be difficult. My father supported this transition by reminding me of his trust, acknowledging that he realized a permanent change was occurring and at times when his memory was not as strong leaning in my direction comfortably for guidance.

Life lessons start at a young age, but you often do not understand their full value until you can view them with a new set of eyes. Three simple A's put me on the path of practicing what has been demonstrated to me for so long. A practice that may not be simple, but can become a life-long goal. A father transferring knowledge I can pass along to my own children, and simplify things when it is their turn to take the reigns. For that I am grateful.