"The Sunday Political Brunch" -- New Year's Resolutions 2016

Dr. Mark Curtis, Ed.D., is a nationally-known political analyst and journalist now based in Charleston, West Virginia.

(Charleston, West Virginia) – We had fun last week giving the candidates Christmas presents, so let’s do something similar this week by making some New Year’s resolutions for many of the presidential hopefuls. Let’s “brunch” on that this week:

“Quit Playing ‘Pair-a-Mour’” – Okay it’s a play on the word paramour, and if you want the definition, ask Bill Clinton or Donald Trump. The weird debate between Trump and the Clinton’s about whether Donald or Bill is more “sexist” than the other, is nothing short of bizarre (I’m sure some will turn my pun into “pair-of-morons,” so go for it). These guys could both take home a gold medal at the Paramour Olympics, if there were such a thing. It’s only January, but could the debate get any sillier? Here’s a New Year’s resolution for both: stick to issues like ISIS and the economy? (And don’t overshadow you spouse, if she’s actually the candidate).

“Help Wanted” – Dr. Ben Carson had a rough week. After being near the top of the polls for months, he plummeted as if he fell into the Grand Canyon. His Campaign Manager, Deputy Campaign Manager, and Communications Director all resigned. Ouch! Word is that Carson confidant and conservative talk host Armstrong Williams is behind the exodus. Having a management meltdown a month before the Iowa Caucuses is a disaster. New Year’s resolution: hire some good people and right the ship, Doc!

“Vacation’s All I Ever Wanted” – To George Pataki, Bobby Jindal, and Lindsey Graham: take a well-deserved vacation, perhaps to Wisconsin to visit another ex-candidate, Governor Scott Walker. Even for the lowest-rated in the campaign, politics is a tough grind, so we wish you much rest. New Year’s resolution: hand out some endorsements!

“One Vote at a Time!” – God bless former Governor Martin O’Malley (D-MD), for trudging through the snow in Iowa to get to a campaign event when everyone else was cancelling their events. The problem was, voters were staying home, too! When O’Malley got to his event, there was only one voter to speak with, but he sat down and talked politics over coffee with the lone Iowan. It made national news and a lot of Internet chatter. Had 25 people shown up it would not have made the news, but since only one man came, it was a big deal. Resolution: buy a new pair of boots for O’Malley.

“Show Me the Money” – Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) has seen a sharp spike in his poll numbers, and, in fact, is now leading Trump in Iowa. Not surprisingly, there has also been a consummate spike in campaign donations to Cruz – with 20 million dollars in the fourth quarter. Right now FEC records indicate Cruz has the most “cash on hand” of any candidate. His New Year’s resolution should be: hire a new accountant to keep track of all that campaign cash!

“Babyface Blues” – Here’s an odd piece of trivia. In the Real Clear Politics composite poll, only one Republican beats Hillary Clinton in a head-to-head match-up; and only one Republican beats Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT). That Republican is Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL). He’s is in the middle of the pack in the GOP race and shows strength, but one has to wonder if his boyish looks tell some people, “He’s too young to be President.” We think Rubio’s resolution is to grow a beard, like the distinguished facial hair now adorned by House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-WI).

“Anger Management” – Governor Chris Christie’s (R-NJ) best asset is his feistiness. People like when he gets mad, takes on the press, or pokes fun of those who serve in Congress. Christie’s numbers have inched up and he received a prestigious newspaper endorsement in New Hampshire. New Year’s resolution: get mad more often!

“Ms. Manners, Not!” – Governor John Kasich (R-OH) and former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina, could use of dose of Christie’s anger and indignation. Sorry, but Kasich and Fiorina are too polite. New Year’s resolution for both: sharpen your elbows and show some emotion (yes, anger, too).

“Bush Bash” – I have my doubts he can make a comeback, but former Governor Jeb Bush (R-FL) has to give it a try. He’s been much too nice, as well. But the other day he threw a sharp jab, blaming President Obama (and the anger towards his policies), as the reason for Donald Trump’s enormous popularity. He’s saying Obama, caused Trump. It may not catch on, but he needed to throw a punch, and he did. New Year’s resolution: buy some boxing gloves!

What are your resolutions for the candidates? Just post your comments at: www.MarkCurtismedia.com.

© 2016, Mark Curtis Media, LLC.

Photo credit: cbs.com