Happy Father's Day

By Rabbi Levi Cunin

This past week, the mother of a dear friend— Helena Roven, a Holocaust hero and survivor—passed away. In the observance of "shiv'a" --  the seven Jewish days of mourning, I was invited to read a letter that was in a frame in the household, and to translate it from Hebrew to English.

The letter was written by a great mystic from the 11th century Rabbi Moses ben Nachman - " known as the "Ramban" (or Nachmonides). It is a letter to his son that instructs him how to live a life of goodness and piety.

As we prepare to celebrate Father's Day this coming Sunday, I thought it would be apropos to share some of the content of this letter because its fatherly message is timeless.

Father's Day is a time for children to show their appreciation, and it is also a time for fathers to reflect on the importance of their role. Reading these words I felt that the love that this father was transmitting to his offspring was filled with meaning and intent.  The letter began: 

"'Listen my son to the review of your father and do not forsake teachings of your mother" from Proverbs 1:8.

Here is how it continued:

Accustom yourself to speak all of your words with gentleness, to all people, and in all times, and with this you will save yourself from anger.  Anger is the worst of all negative character traits, and it is what leads man to iniquity...
And now, know my son and see, those who are pompous and haughty in their own hearts are in rebellion against the Kingdom of Heaven... Therefore I will explain to you regarding the attribute of humility, to walk constantly in this way. Express all of your words in calmness, your head should be bent while your eyes are focused below you on the land, and your heart should be connected Above. Don't stare at a person when you speak with him, and all people shall be greater than you in your eyes. If he is wealthier than you, or wiser than you, respect him. If he is poor, and you are richer or wiser, consider in your heart that your shortcomings are greater then his, and that he is more meritorious then you; that his wrong doings are unintentional and by mistake while yours are intentional...  When you are not occupied in the study (of the Torah), consider that which you have learned and see how you can apply it; reflect on your deeds in the morning and in the evening (and correct them)... Read this letter once a week...

In reading this letter, I was reminded of the father's important role. The father must provide children with focus, empathy and guidance, so they live a life of joy and meaning.

Happy Father's Day
 
Shabbat Shalom!