The Great Escape

The Great Escape.

The fact is women are simple, but men need a manual.

This is the manual for one good date. Mom, here’s what you do. Hand this over to your significant other and give him (or her) the keys.

Men start here.

Your children's mom wants you to take her out to dinner. It's that simple.

Here's what to say, “I’m taking you out to dinner. I’m paying. I’ve got a babysitter for the kids. This date is a week from Thursday. I made reservations. We’re going to ….”

The Olive Garden isn’t on that list. Applebee’s isn’t on the list. Chili’s? No. (Yes, I’m willing to concede Chili’s salsa is the best salsa in Danbury, but this isn’t a salsa and chips dinner. I like Olive Garden and Applebee's, too, but not on date night.)

The pre-planning aspect means you have to know which restaurant your wife or girlfriend thinks is romantic. This requires thought. Make the right choice.

Jim Barbarie’s is great for martinis and a lot of good food, but it isn’t romantic. Same with Chuck’s. La Fortuna in Bethel can be romantic, but it can also be jamming. (Those are top 10 restaurants in Danbury-ish, but not romantic. Sorry.)

“We’re going to ….” Means you picked the restaurant, because you know that’s the romantic restaurant she wants to go to. "I asked them for a quiet table in the corner ... near the fire place ... by itself."

You’re telling her in the nicest, most romantic way possible. (She isn’t going to argue, because you got it right.)

On the night of the event, get home early, shower and be ready for the date with ironed shirt and tie. You went so far, now it’s time for the whole nine yards. Flowers, too.

If you followed all of these steps, you will create an evening you both remember.

This is a dinner where you will spend money. Wine is involved and so is dessert.

Starting with, “I’m taking you out to dinner. I’m paying,” you’ve got to tell her all this. It isn’t a question. “I’ve been saving for this,” is your next line.

How long? Long enough so it isn’t coming out of your joint checking account.

That’s key. Now she knows you’ve been thinking about this for a couple of weeks. Another aspect is you told her a week ago, “I’m taking you out to dinner.” That told her you care about her because you saved the money, you did your research and you planned ahead. (Now, that's romantic.)

It isn’t a situation where you’re using her money to take her out to dinner.  It isn’t spontaneous. (Remember “My Cousin Vinnie.”) It is planned, researched and she knows you bothered and you got it right. You saved the money. You picked the restaurant. You paid cash. You told her a week ago.

If that question comes up, here’s what you say, because here’s what you did.

You started saving two or three weeks ago. You saved $400, and the dinner includes the wine of her choice. She names a wine, and you say, “Excellent.” She drinks it. You drink it. You don’t say, “Oh, couldn’t we get the $24 bottle rather than the $40 bottle.”

No quibbling. She suggests a wine. You say, “Excellent.”

If you spring for champagne, ask for raspberries. An even dozen is right. You drop a few into your glass. If she wants, she drops a few into her glass, and you eat the rest.

About the kids.

Some people use babysitters. Once the ‘kids’ are teenagers, it’s more cost-effective to swap date-nights with your daughter’s friends’ parents. They watch your daughter one night, you watch their daughter another night. It works well for a weekend, too.