Pretty As It Pleases, Black Bear Steals Amazon Package

BRISTOL, CT — What happened to a Connecticut woman’s Amazon package could legit have been footage from an actual commercial for Charmin toilet paper — you know, the ones with the family of bears singing about how clean their bums are.

A porch-pirating back bear stole Kristin Levine’s delivery after it was delivered to her home in Bristol on Monday, then casually walked away with the package dangling from its mouth.

The bear delivered the package containing several rolls of toilet paper to a neighbor’s yard, Levine told NBC Connecticut.

At least the package thieving bear wasn’t a toilet paper hoarder. And Levine has a great story to tell.

“It was hysterical,” she told the television station, calling it “a fun afternoon for sure.”

Facebook users provided the levity after Levine posted video of the bear stealing the Amazon package. More than one commenter made a joke about the Charmin bears.

Levine wondered in her post if Amazon would replace her package at no charge because it was pilfered by a bear, but one cynical commenter suggested the online behemoth was behind the theft in a scheme to double its money.

Some people thought the bear had swagger and great big, ahem, chutzpah.

“Not funny but so funny at the same time,” one person wrote, “especially because your camera caught him just like, ‘hey I’ll take this with me.’ ”

Wrote another person: “That’s a serious saunter — like s/he is taking home dinner to the family, victorious!”

The animal had been tagged as part of a research project into the habits of Connecticut’s black bears, leading some to suggest he’s a repeat offender. That depends, according to the state’s Department of Energy and Environmental Protection, which said on its website the presence of an ear tag doesn’t necessarily mean “repeated problem behavior.”

“Maybe he’s an escaped serial porch pirate!” one person wrote. “Wait till momma bear sees what he brought home for her!”

Some of Levine’s neighbors said they would be watching their packages more closely.

“We have two bears that hang out up here in my neighborhood,” one person wrote. “This was too funny. We had one try to steal a trash bag out of our can, but my husband scared him off.”

And, of course, someone else — self-editing to keep everything family-friendly — added this familiar one-liner: “ya know a bear chits In da woods!”

So far this year, there have been about 6,500 black bear sightings in Connecticut. They are increasingly common, according to wildlife officials, and it’s not unusual for them to be seen in heavily populated residential areas. Nuisance complaints are also increasing as bears exploit food sources and lose their fear of humans.