'Sharknado' Ruled, Safety Town, South Windsor American Goes for Section II Title

Good morning, South Windsor! Today is Monday, July 22, 2013; there are 162 days left in the year.

Kids, I may be a little late in the game for what I’m about to say, but so be it. You know, I’ve had an incredible year. On the personal level, I got married; my wife and I had a baby; we got an incredible puppy recently. Professionally, I launched the South Windsor Patch site, which has gone swimmingly.

Nothing, however, topped what happened two weeks ago, when I saw the made-for-TV movie “Sharknado.”

ZOMG! Talk about a game-changer. How could no one have thought to put sharks and a big honkin’ tornado together?

The only way that movie could have been better is if Taylor Swift were in the flick. Because I love the Tay Tay. She’s just a li’l darlin’. (Standard South Windsor Patch Disclaimer regarding Taylor Swift: There is absolutely nothing creepy at all to have a crush on a woman 20 years my junior. Nope. Nothing creepy at all. Move along. Nothing to see here.)

Anyhoo, I’m working on a script for “Sharkquake,” in which a natural gas company gets permission to frack on the San Andreas fault. The end result is San Francisco sinks into the ocean after the fracking causes a major earthquake. Sharks attack and hilarity ensues.

I’ll be sure to come back and remember the little people once I sell this stinking pile of a script for $5,000, a bag of Doritos and a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Here are five things going on for the week ahead:

1. Safety Town for children entering kindergarten kicks off today at the Unity Church of Greater Hartford.

2. The Republican Town Committee will host its caucus at Town Hall at 7 p.m. There has been some talk among Republicans as to whether Mayor Tom Delnicki - the party’s top vote-getter on the Council for the last two elections - will receive a nomination to run for re-election. Delnicki resigned from the RTC in May over several disagreements.

3. The plucky South Windsor American 11-12 All-Star team plays for the Section II title on Tuesday. It takes on the winner of the Waterford South/Coginchaug game played Sunday. The Americans earned a spot in the title game with a stellar 1-0 victory over Cognichaug in the semifinals on Saturday.

4. The South Windsor Planning & Zoning Commission will have a special meeting on Wednesday at Revolutions at 9:30 p.m. to conduct sound testing on the site. Revolutions has applied to host outdoor events, among other things. Neighbors have complained that the site, particularly around Nomads Adventure Quest, generates too much noise already.