Sharknado Ruled! Drop a Bunch of Stuff in Windsor Locks, Meeting Skeds

Good morning, Windsor Locks and East Windsor! Today is Monday, July 22, 2013; there are 162 days left in the year.

Kids, I may be a little late in the game for what I’m about to say, but so be it. You know, I’ve had an incredible year. On the personal level, I got married; my wife and I had a baby; we got an incredible puppy recently. Professionally, I launched the South Windsor Patch site, which has gone swimmingly.

Nothing, however, topped what happened two weeks ago, when I saw the made-for-TV movie “Sharknado.”

ZOMG! Talk about a game-changer. How could no one have thought to put sharks and a big honkin’ tornado together?

The only way that movie could have been better is if Taylor Swift were in the flick. Because I love the Tay Tay. She’s just a li’l darlin’. (Standard Windsor Locks/East Windsor Patch Disclaimer regarding Taylor Swift: There is absolutely nothing creepy at all to have a crush on a woman 20 years my junior. Nope. Nothing creepy at all. Move along. Nothing to see here.)

Anyhoo, I’m working on a script for “Sharkquake,” in which a natural gas company gets permission to frack on the San Andreas fault. The end result is San Francisco sinks into the ocean after the fracking causes a major earthquake. Sharks attack and hilarity ensues.

I’ll be sure to come back and remember the little people once I sell this stinking pile of a script for $5,000, a bag of Doritos and a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Here are five things going on for the week ahead (for more information, visit the Patch calendar of events here):

1. It’s a good week to drop objects at the New England Air Museum, which has a parachute drop today and July 23.

2. Don’t like parachutes? Well how about a “copterdrop” on July 24 and 25 at the New England Air Museum? Build a spinning paper copter that will drop to the ground the slowest given a specific drop zone.

3. OK, so you don’t like parachutes or copters? Well then you surely will go for the egg drop, also at the New England Air Museum on July 26, 27 and 28. Design, build, and test a contraption that will protect an egg from breaking when dropped from a height of 20 feet.

4. Not much for gravity? Sir Isaac Newton wouldn’t be happy with you. But there are other things to check out in East Windsor, including a Planning and Zoning meeting and a Board of Education meeting on Tuesday.