Veterans Share Afghan War Experiences In Safe Space At USF

ST. PETERSBURG, FL — Tears, anger and sadness poured from a group of students who are U.S. military veterans at the University of South Florida St. Petersburg as they shared what they saw and experienced while serving in Afghanistan.

"If a civilian thinks they can relate to what we've experienced because they've watched action movies and the news, then they're not living in reality, because they don't understand what the reality is for the Afghans," a retired Army sergeant said during the gathering at the USF Military Veterans and Success Center.

Some veterans relived their shock, anger and frustration at seeing young Afghan girls who had acid thrown on their face by the Taliban; guarding girls in school and protecting girls from being taken by the Taliban for use as sex slaves; and hearing from the Afghan people about brides-to-be murdered by the Taliban because their future husbands refused to join the extremists and fight with them.

(At the request of some of those at the meeting, Patch will not print the veterans' names since this was their safe place to talk.)

Several veterans said that in spite of mental health counseling offered through the Department of Veterans Affairs, they didn't feel comfortable talking to a psychologist who had not experienced the Afghan war firsthand. They wanted to talk to other veterans who could relate to what they were going through.

In response, the Aug. 20 discussion was organized by Wayne Taylor, a retired Army veteran who served multiple tours in Afghanistan from 2004 to 2012 and who currently works as assistant director of the Military Veterans and Success Center at the University of South Florida, 140 Seventh Ave. S., St. Petersburg. About 10 veterans attended, men and women.

A question that kept coming up in the conversation was: Did American troops lose their purpose, and were American forces able to make a difference in Afghanistan with the looming fear of the same violence women, children and civilians experienced prior to the arrival of U.S. forces in 2001?

"So the challenge is coming to terms with is 'Did we make a difference,'" Taylor asked. "If you look at it right now, you would probably say, 'No.' But if you look at in the last 20 years, is there an Afghan student in the United States — not even at USF — inside the United States who is going to college, who is probably 18, 19 years old? Who is going to college because of something we were able to do to make a difference in someone's life? Never mind just the people that were impacted by going through a village and helping free a village from the Taliban rule."

Taylor said the pullout of U.S. forces, which was finalized early Tuesday, is similar to what happened at the end of the Vietnam War as Saigon fell.

Another question veterans wrestle with on a daily basis is: "Why did I lose a friend, a (military) brother or sister going through all this?"

Several of the students, including Taylor, said they can't turn on the news because reporters can't relate to what the troops experienced. However, other veterans who do not have emotional ties to Afghanistan had unexpected feelings as they listened to the discussion.

"Since I deployed to regions that weren't Iraq or Afghanistan, I have no emotional ties to the war," Frank Grabarz, 31, USF student and Air Force military police veteran told Patch. "I only have stories that I've heard from friends, and so it was eye-opening to sit in on this conversation and hear the opinions of those that were there and lost people, seen the suffering that the Afghan people have gone through. And it moved me. I teared up a little bit, I choked up. Because you can watch as many documentaries as you want, you can read as many new articles as you want, but until you actually see that raw emotion from people reliving their experiences over there, seeing it in their eyes, then I don't think you're ever really going to truly understand."

Another USF student, Natalie Burke, 25, served with a U.S. Army unit in Afghanistan for nine months in 2019. Afghan women she trained while serving there have recently reached out to her for help escaping the country. Unfortunately, she said after she contacted refugee resources, it's not going to happen because the work they do is not considered a priority.

Todd Post, 30, who is a USF student, Army veteran and Taylor's assistant, told Patch he was hesitant to open up because he felt a lot of pent-up frustration and anger.

"I was holding it all in, I wasn't sleeping," Post said. "I was just disturbed by it. And, honestly, this [the safe-place meeting] was probably one of the best things that could have happened because prior to that I was like almost going to reach a point to where — I mean I don't know, I knew I wasn't going to do something crazy, but I was just not feeling OK. And it was very beneficial. Especially to hear what other people went through, and to know that you are not alone. That helps. We're people, we're designed to operate in community. We isolate and then we keep it all to ourself, and then things start going bad."

Post doesn't discourage veterans from going to the VA for help because he understands that medication and counseling are beneficial. But for him, he said, the Aug. 20 conversation helped more.

Taylor said they will continue to have safe-space meetings for students who served in Afghanistan. The meetings are also open to Afghan students from all USF campuses. It is everyone's safe space.

Resources For Veterans

If you are a veteran who wants to talk about your Afghan war experiences with a supportive community, here are some resources:

• H.O.O.A.H — HOOAH Inc’s mission is to lend support to forward deployed servicemen and women, their stateside families, and returning veterans with a high level of understanding, compassion, and empathy. It operates with 100 percent volunteers. *They do have a St. Pete partnership
• Wounded Warrior Project
• Virtual Veterans Coffee Connection—Empath Health
• Veterans Alternative
• Veterans Affairs

If you are a veteran in crisis or concerned about one, contact the Veterans Crisis Line at 800-273-8255 and press 1.

Patch Journalist Skyla Luckey is a Coast Guard veteran who worked at the USF Military Veterans Success Center from 2016-2017 while she worked on her M.A. in digital journalism and design. She is also a journalism professor at USF.

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