Joliet Man Goes On Blackout Bender, Wakes Up With Concussion But No Car, Tells Cops It Was Stolen: Police

A Joliet man woke up from a drunken, blackout bender with a concussion and no idea what had happened to his car so — fearing the worst — he reported the vehicle stolen, police said.

Jonathan Kirchman, 22, came to one morning in May and discovered his 2001 Toyota Echo was missing, police said. The last thing he reportedly remembered was “wandering the streets.” He also had a concussion, police said.

Not knowing how he suffered the concussion — or what had become of his car — Kirchman went to the cops and told them he was jumped in the parking lot of the Little Caesars on Collins Street, police said, and claimed his attackers absconded with his car.

Three months later, during an interview with investigators from the Tri-County Auto Theft Task Force, Kirchman admitted he made the whole thing up. Two weeks ago, detectives secured an warrant carrying a $75,000 bond. Kirchman was taken into custody Tuesday. He remains locked up in the Will County jail.

Kirchman was charged with making a false report to the police. It remains unclear what happened to his car or how he got the concussion.